Post by rex362 on Mar 15, 2013 14:47:48 GMT -5
Montenegro’s Last Sworn Virgin Has No Regrets
Stana Cerovic took an oath of virginity, swapped
skirts for trousers and ‘became a man’ decades ago – a decision she has
never looked back on.
After a week of snow, when the old road from Niksic to Savnik finally opened
for traffic, we decided to get to Tusin, a small, half-forgotten village
in the north of Montenegro.
Only a few houses are left there,
but in one of them, a stone cottage beside the village church, lives
80-plus Stana Cerovic, Montenegro’s last sworn virgin.
Sworn virgins are a phenomenon of rural society in Montenegro, northern
Albania and Kosovo. Families with no male heir effectively turned their
daughters into men.
The youngest daughter of the house “became” a
man and could thus inherit the family property. They cut their hair,
started to wear men’s clothes and took an oath never to marry.
Upon taking the oath, society treated them like any other man. Unlike most
other sworn virgins, however, Stana remained Stana. She has kept her
woman’s name.
Stana was not happy to see me, a single girl, with
dyed hair and make-up. Evidently disappointed, she asked where the real
«people» were (Old Montenegrins used to refer to men as “people”):
Where are the people, when woman enters first?,» she declared crossly, as, by
tradition, a man always enters the house first and women follow behind.
When she saw my male colleagues, she calmed down.
«I don't like women. I cannot even sit near them at the local gatherings,» she continued.
«Only men can talk normal stories, women are full of gossip and they cannot
be any good.» Somehow, I passed the test. She nicknamed me “She-wolf”.
Home for her is a small, smoke-filled, stuffy room where she sits in an old
torn chair by a wooden stove, a good position from which to light up a
chain of cigarettes.
In spite of the fact that she has a large stone house, Stana barely uses the rest of the building.
becomes unexpectedly emotional and gentle when communicating with them.
When she doesn’t like a question, she just starts stroking Ciro.
Although we were looking forward to the first coffee of the day, Stana decided
that homemade brandy would make for a better welcome. One for a clearer
mind, then a second to warm us up. The third helped smooth the
interview.
Stana loves to talk, and, like any man, likes to
talk politics and history. Her current topic is the presidental election
in April, in which she is cheering on the present incumbent, Filip
Vujanovic. "He knows how to talk, he walks like a strong, reliable man.
Those kind of people are best," she declares.
But she well remembers Josip Tito, the longtime Communist president of Yugoslavia -
and with some regret. «There is no Tito any longer, and if there were,
everything would be different,» she opines in a melancholy voice.
«People have changed. They are not merciful to each other, as we once were. Hatred starts to rule,» she adds.
«This is a disgrace. In Tito’s time we used to say that Montenegrins were the
chosen ones. Look at us now. It is all rust!» Then she stops talking
for a while. Her thoughts drift away.
Tito was just starting out in his career as Yugoslav leader when Stana decided to become a man. The
youngest of five daughters, her family had no sons. Wishing to inherit
from her father, she agreed to take an oath of perpetual virginity.
«I did not want to leave my Dad and he supported me in not getting
married,» she said. «'Stay here!', he said,» Stana adds with a smile. It
was her own decision to become a sworn virgin.
Decades on, Stana does not regret her choice. «Who, me? Regret? You are silly,» she answers.
«How can a woman go and live in the house that isn't hers? I do not
understand it.» The idea that the house might also belong to the woman
when she gets married didn’t seem to mean much to her.
She remains proud of her choice. During her lifetime, she took care of her four sisters and their common household.
But after two hours of talking, she has to go and feed her cow. It takes
her a while to stand up. But the pain in her legs and curves in her
spine do not prevent her from feeding the cow three times a day. Her
nephew offers to help with the daily chores, but she prefers to do
everything by herself. In the end, men are not supposed to show
weakness.
In an old blue sweater, men's black pants and a funny
cap, Stana tries to cover up what remains of her feminine
characteristics.
But she also like to hide something else - her
age. She claims she is no more than a few years older than seventy, but
her nephew tells me that she was born at the beginning of the 1930s,
which makes her a decade older. Either way, she is the last sworn virgin
in Montenegro.
Jelena Kulidzan is alumni of the Balkan Fellowship for Journalistic Excellence.