Post by Bozur on Sept 10, 2008 21:20:05 GMT -5
5 Ways to Calm Down an Angry Woman
menshealth.com — Dealing with an angry woman. This article from Men's Health magazine explains what to do when a woman is angry and advice about whether or not to seek help if the relationship is potentially abusive. More… (Arts & Culture)
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5 Ways to Calm Down an Angry Woman
Yes, 1.5 million women are physically assaulted by their partners every year, but so are 835,000 men, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Next time your little honeybee turns mad as a hornet, here's how to stop the buzzing before her fire turns to fight. You've already tried pretending to be invisible, right? How'd that work?
1. Lower Your Thermostat
Whatever you do, don't get angry. Surprisingly enough, she won't consider it righteous; she'll just get more pissed off, and a little self-righteous besides. If you feel yourself heating up, just remember that "she can't make you angry," says Paul Hauck, Ph.D., an Illinois psychologist and author of How to Cope with People Who Drive You Crazy and Overcoming Frustration and Anger. "And you didn't make her feel angry. She did. You may be responsible for her problem, but not her emotional reaction."
2. Don't Feed Her Data
"A man generally tries to win an argument by coming up with facts that are totally meaningless to her," says Michael Staver, the author of 21 Ways to Defuse Anger and Calm People Down. "She filters that as being disrespectful and not listening, which ticks her off all the more."
3. Own Up . . . Maturely
"If you're wrong, just admit it," says Staver. "But don't do it in a condescending way."
4. Tune In
"If she has a big problem," says Hauck, "you'd better listen." And don't wait till swords are drawn. Like an orgasm, anger follows a bell curve—at the top you're completely out of your mind. So if you're seeing signs of frustration (a sigh or roll of the eyes), you'd better start listening quick, for the apex is near and things are about to go downhill fast.
5. Take a Step Back
"You don't have to agree," says Staver. "But acknowledge her perceptions as real. It shows that you respect her." Often, her anger is triggered because she believes something's 1) unfair, 2) out of her control, or 3) a personal attack. Address these concerns.
www.menshealth.com/