Post by spartacus on Jan 30, 2009 10:12:22 GMT -5
I'm wondering whether or not I should be feeling a tad guilty. Here is why:
As some of you may already know, my 85 year old grandmother in Croatia has developed freakish strength over the past few months. When I was in Croatia this past summer, I dissolved protein powder, creatine, and several multi-vitamins into her tea, or tossed them in her salad. She has gained, to date, an impressive bench of 250 pounds! Mind you, 200-300mg of creatine, 100mg of protein, and 100mg of vitamins a day have helped!
One day, while I was at the selo, I was training quads with Grandmother and Krešo (My training partner and chauffeur). We were doing front squats with a barbell set we built out of stone, yelling and groaning with intensity. Just then, I noticed a young village boy attempting to train under the guidance of an old village pencil-necked geek 'personal trainer'.
They were working their biceps with the little 3 pound pink dumbbells, I knew my village was primitive but this was absolutely ridiculous.
I marched over, and yelled "WRONG! ALL WRONG!" in his face.
"sir....Rupert here (indicating the young boy) is only 13 years old....really, I don't think your style of ...er..training would be right for him" he whined.
"Rupert can decide for himself....can't you, Rupert?" I asked. Rupert burst out some garbled terrified reply of "mmmm, um....i....i..."
"Sounds like a YES to me!" I roared. I took our 300 pound barbell and wrapped the fingers of his right hand around the grip. "Now, young man, curl that weight!!" I screamed. Rupert's face reddened, his glasses, held on by a thick rubber band going around his head, slipped off to one side as he struggled with every ounce of his will to curl the 300 pound dumbell.
As his face turned red, and he began crying "ahh!! ahhhh!!!.", just as his nose began to bleed from the intensity, A crowd of village people, including Grandmother and Krešo, crowded around him and began cheering him on.
"Curl the fooking thing, picka ti materina!" Krešo cheered, while others offered less inspiring support such as "C'mon Rupert...you CAN do it!"
Grandmother, however, was pure old-school. She took a twig from a tree, and gave Rupert a viscous smack across the shins, screaming "DO as the men say, BOY!!" in his face.
With a final, all out effort, and making a noise not heard from a human since the 19th century freak show attraction 'The Elephant Man' walked the earth, Rupert's arm snapped up with an explosive force and swung the dumbbell up! Alas, he swung it with too much force and it came smacking into his face, sending him flipping over backwards onto the ground, and as he hit the ground he began having a seizure!
Baba was overjoyed at his success, and she marched over to Rupert's convulsing form to congratulate him.
We called the village ambulance, which got there in 3 days, for Rupert, and as the medics took him away, I couldn't help but wonder if Grandmother's freakish strength and aggressiveness had anything to do with the supplements she was on!
Now I've been back in the US these past few months, but couldn't help but wonder how baba was doing. Recently I heard she hurled a 500 pound rock at a mans house destroying it, the reason being was that he walked too close to her chickens and she thought he was planning on stealing them.
Help me out here, brothers. Is this all MY fault??? Say it isn't so!
As some of you may already know, my 85 year old grandmother in Croatia has developed freakish strength over the past few months. When I was in Croatia this past summer, I dissolved protein powder, creatine, and several multi-vitamins into her tea, or tossed them in her salad. She has gained, to date, an impressive bench of 250 pounds! Mind you, 200-300mg of creatine, 100mg of protein, and 100mg of vitamins a day have helped!
One day, while I was at the selo, I was training quads with Grandmother and Krešo (My training partner and chauffeur). We were doing front squats with a barbell set we built out of stone, yelling and groaning with intensity. Just then, I noticed a young village boy attempting to train under the guidance of an old village pencil-necked geek 'personal trainer'.
They were working their biceps with the little 3 pound pink dumbbells, I knew my village was primitive but this was absolutely ridiculous.
I marched over, and yelled "WRONG! ALL WRONG!" in his face.
"sir....Rupert here (indicating the young boy) is only 13 years old....really, I don't think your style of ...er..training would be right for him" he whined.
"Rupert can decide for himself....can't you, Rupert?" I asked. Rupert burst out some garbled terrified reply of "mmmm, um....i....i..."
"Sounds like a YES to me!" I roared. I took our 300 pound barbell and wrapped the fingers of his right hand around the grip. "Now, young man, curl that weight!!" I screamed. Rupert's face reddened, his glasses, held on by a thick rubber band going around his head, slipped off to one side as he struggled with every ounce of his will to curl the 300 pound dumbell.
As his face turned red, and he began crying "ahh!! ahhhh!!!.", just as his nose began to bleed from the intensity, A crowd of village people, including Grandmother and Krešo, crowded around him and began cheering him on.
"Curl the fooking thing, picka ti materina!" Krešo cheered, while others offered less inspiring support such as "C'mon Rupert...you CAN do it!"
Grandmother, however, was pure old-school. She took a twig from a tree, and gave Rupert a viscous smack across the shins, screaming "DO as the men say, BOY!!" in his face.
With a final, all out effort, and making a noise not heard from a human since the 19th century freak show attraction 'The Elephant Man' walked the earth, Rupert's arm snapped up with an explosive force and swung the dumbbell up! Alas, he swung it with too much force and it came smacking into his face, sending him flipping over backwards onto the ground, and as he hit the ground he began having a seizure!
Baba was overjoyed at his success, and she marched over to Rupert's convulsing form to congratulate him.
We called the village ambulance, which got there in 3 days, for Rupert, and as the medics took him away, I couldn't help but wonder if Grandmother's freakish strength and aggressiveness had anything to do with the supplements she was on!
Now I've been back in the US these past few months, but couldn't help but wonder how baba was doing. Recently I heard she hurled a 500 pound rock at a mans house destroying it, the reason being was that he walked too close to her chickens and she thought he was planning on stealing them.
Help me out here, brothers. Is this all MY fault??? Say it isn't so!