Post by Ja Ona i Pivo on Nov 17, 2008 15:05:14 GMT -5
At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.
At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.
At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina".
Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do something he can't either.
There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.
There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.
When your walls are crowded with icons of saints
When you make jokes based on your own tragedy
Your church has a fully loaded bar
You don't talk to your Kumovi
Your uncle makes his own wine that is stronger than rakija
You think everything is a conspiracy
Your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you
Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion
When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry
You teach all your American friends serbian/croatian cuss words
Your Tata complains da ga ledja BOLE!!!
When you have to reassure your Mother that her cooking is the best
Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.
When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age
You are freaked out by 'Babaroga'
when your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.
When your mum calls you "stoka"
When your mom tells you not to drink cold water after you have exercised
When no matter what age you are or how much smarter than your parents you are, they will never listen to what you say 'cause you're still their little " beba "
Your Dad tells you "kad sam ja bio u tvoje godine...."
When your parents call relatives in Yugo they shout to be heard
When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears
When your parents call you "sine" no matter if your a boy or a girl.
Your mom gloats about how good Serbian food is but cooks Turkish coffee for all her friends
When you work part time and drive a BMW
When you bang the table and break glasses while singing when you're drunk.
When your father says "samo ako te zgrabim ja"
When beans are served and your dad tells you that you should call it "gospodin pasulj
You think the expression "Don't laugh so much, you will cry" sounds reasonable
Cevapcici on the grill are better than steak any day
Your majka is fond of saying "Tanks God"
A week after Slava, Bozic, and Easter you are still eating sarma
You can dance a kolo to anything, including ex-Yu rock
You read this list to your mama and tata and all they have to say in their defense is "IC NAT TRU!!!"
if you sit too close to the T.V., you'll get cancer.
You tell your friends to rebel when their parents tell them to be home before midnight
when you're mom is running after you to put on a "podkusulja
Your dad tells you "dis is the turd time I am telling you dis" and you are afraid to laugh
You bring gifts when you come and take gifts when you leave
You have a doily covering your DVD, VCR, printer, scanner
When you do not announce yourself before visiting a friend and are happy to see him/her at your door in the same manner
when your dad thinks everyone from China has a black belt
Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees
All ex-yugoslavians have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje
All weddings have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje
A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.
Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible
You drive a nicer car than your parents
There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage
You can hear your dad snoring from across the street
You wear a DKNY t-shirt when you work out
Your baba swears more than you do
Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.
Your mum makes her own bread and slices it with a BIG kitchen knife to a thickness of 5cm per slice
All the hot girls/guys are your cousins
There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to
Being someone's KUM really has no meaning
Your dad thinks he knows everything about the world today
Your last name ends with a CH
When you are reading this list and you're cracking up
One of your relatives is a construction worker / painter
A loaf of bread is eaten for lunch
Your parents have a shot of rakija for breakfast
If you are a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid
You live with your mom and dad until you are married
You have a pair of wool slippers that your baba knit
Your mom tells you not to sit on concrete or your ovaries are going to freeze
There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"
Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion
As a kid you are paid to steal the bride's shoe at a wedding
You have a vegetable garden in your backyard consisting of a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes
"Jebem ti mater" forms part of ordinary conversation
It is always the biggest brother that is guilty when his younger brother(s) make(s) trouble.
When upset, it isn’t unusual for Tata to send you “u pizdu materinu”
Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene
Whenever your parents said “vidit cemo” you knew that it meant “NO!”
Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing
When you se a dog and find it natural to pick up a stone in case of the dog should attack you – even if the dog is 2 cm tall