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Post by vanilo on Mar 8, 2009 12:17:29 GMT -5
In some cultures the idea of honour, and acting accordingly to it, is of HUGE importance. My own cultures being some of them. I just read an interesting blog that is written by a Bosnian woman here in Denmark, and in that blog she expresses her opinions of virginity and the term "honour". Her blog made me curious about what other Bosnians think about this topic . The blog is in Danish but I've translated the bits I found interesting to you: I don't want my virginity backThere are girls in this country who undergo virginity reconstruction surgeries. Because sex is something dirty that can only happen when other people, besides the girl herself, have given their permission/acceptance. This permission/acceptance is also called marriage, and is all about a religious or civil authority approving that one has sex.[...]Honour is merely the respect you enjoy through other peoples’ eyes – and that’s probably great for those who intend to live their lives by other peoples’ standard. But you can’t tell me that this idea of sexual honour, by any means, is different from the control a pimp has over a woman he’s forced into prostitution. In both cases the woman is just a product you swap for something else – whether it being “honour” or money, it’s the exact same thing. [...]The same goes to these screwed up ideas that honour is something that is located between a girl’s legs. It’s only about making people breed right. Then why not just say it as it is instead of making up stories about chastity? Stand by the fact that you just regard women as animals who breed. Try a bit of honesty along with your precious honour.What's the role of sexual honour among Bosnians? Do Bosnians generally share Amila's (the blogger) opinion or do you reckon that honour and virginity is of some importance among Bosnians? What does "honour" mean among Bosnians? What does being a virgin (pre-marriage) mean to Bosnians? Do YOU think that there's a relation between the sexual choices one makes and one's honour? Is there even such thing as honour, in your opinion? I hope I haven't offended anybody...I apologize if I have .
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Post by manijak on Mar 8, 2009 13:05:42 GMT -5
For some of the religious, yes that is important. But I don't think those are in the majority. Bosnia is a conservative country but its made up of small towns and villages where growing up you tend to have a lot of space to do what you want. God knows by 9, I was out most of the time, playing sports, socializing, being with my cousins/other friends, fooling around sexually (2/3times at least), fighting, attempt at smoking, making arrows and killing s**t, climbing trees, and generally making a fool of myself. The girls, even at that age, and especially the older ones..were not innocent at all..they started a lot of the stuff ..that people would consider not "honourable" There is not much honour in any of that but that doesn't mean it wasn't fun.
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Post by kapetan on Mar 8, 2009 14:36:25 GMT -5
Virginity and sex shouldn't be tied to honor at all.
Honor is very important to all Balkan cultures but I personaly don't tie it to my sex life.
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Post by hellboy87 on Mar 8, 2009 19:55:06 GMT -5
For some of the religious, yes that is important. But I don't think those are in the majority. Bosnia is a conservative country but its made up of small towns and villages where growing up you tend to have a lot of space to do what you want. God knows by 9, I was out most of the time, playing sports, socializing, being with my cousins/other friends, fooling around sexually (2/3times at least), fighting, attempt at smoking, making arrows and killing s**t, climbing trees, and generally making a fool of myself. The girls, even at that age, and especially the older ones..were not innocent at all..they started a lot of the stuff ..that people would consider not "honourable" There is not much honour in any of that but that doesn't mean it wasn't fun. Please do tell us about it.... ;D
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Post by hellboy87 on Mar 8, 2009 19:56:19 GMT -5
......but I personaly don't tie it to my sex life. Of course,because you dont have one!
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Post by karabin on Mar 8, 2009 21:09:47 GMT -5
......but I personaly don't tie it to my sex life. Of course,because you dont have one! LOL man you beat me to it, i was going to state the same
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Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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Post by Zvone on Mar 8, 2009 21:41:00 GMT -5
Most of us feel like we are honoring our dick when we have sex.
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Post by SKORIC on Mar 9, 2009 0:20:13 GMT -5
lol i dont think any balkan people consider being a virgin honourable, atleast for the men.
lol wish i could find the video of a Serb family getting their 21 year old virgin son a prostitute for his birthday lmao
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Post by kapetan on Mar 9, 2009 2:23:14 GMT -5
......but I personaly don't tie it to my sex life. Of course,because you dont have one! oh oh oh zing little boy ive done things you cant even imagine! *looks at my stash of underground snuff tapes starring me and unsuspecting filipino teens*
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Trazi Vise
Amicus
Today's "church" has NOTHING to do with religion.
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Post by Trazi Vise on Mar 9, 2009 3:52:40 GMT -5
Well I don't agree with the reconstruction part, I mean this is what people did like 50 years ago and it's still happening???!!!
About the honour part, it's depends on who you ask. I waited for someone decent and honourable before I did it and we stayed together for 5 years. Some couples are virgins when they meet but have sex before they marry; is this considered wrong because they didn't wait to be married together to do it? If you ask a guy the answer would be no, he got what he wanted before marriage and knows she was a virgin anyway to him.
I really enjoyed reading what you had translated, thanks for posting that. She has alot of good things to say.
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tyson
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Post by tyson on Mar 9, 2009 4:14:14 GMT -5
i think virginity is a good thing for a woman, so they are more wanted by men to marry, because they wont be carrying any std's, so they can make babies. but with that being said, men should wait until they are married to have sex aswell, but unfortunately alot of us dont. its too hard for me as a man to stay a virgin, but atleast i always have safe sex, coz i aint gonna catch no std's, and i want to have kids eventually.
but yeh, thats just one aspect of why it is good to be a virgin. there are plenty of other reasons, and there's nothing wrong in a woman maintaining her honor, and waiting to have sex until they get married. i have great respect for such women.
also even though i do have sex, i never have sex knowingly that the girl is a virgin. i dont want to be responsible for taking her virginity away.
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Trazi Vise
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Today's "church" has NOTHING to do with religion.
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Post by Trazi Vise on Mar 9, 2009 4:17:32 GMT -5
^^^lol but a man like you would give you future virginal wife an std because you screw around. Anyway your obviously a little ignorant thinking that always being "safe" will protect you from std's.
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Post by vinjak on Mar 9, 2009 4:21:00 GMT -5
Each to there own if staying a virgin is important to you then fine if not use protection and go hard. You only have one life to live and you should live it to the full.
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tyson
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Post by tyson on Mar 9, 2009 4:25:47 GMT -5
^^^lol but a man like you would give you future virginal wife an std because you screw around. Anyway your obviously a little ignorant thinking that always being "safe" will protect you from std's. i will not give anything if i do not have anything. plus i aint no horn dog. i dont fukk anything that moves. i have standards. the girl has to look clean, and i am turned off by chicks that are overtly s**tty, coz they are more inclined to have diseases. plus i am not having sex that often . i might maybe have sex like 5 - 6 times a year, honestly.
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Trazi Vise
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Today's "church" has NOTHING to do with religion.
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Post by Trazi Vise on Mar 9, 2009 4:28:26 GMT -5
Just sound a little ignorant that's all, don't take it personally.
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tyson
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Post by tyson on Mar 9, 2009 4:32:15 GMT -5
i'm not perfect, but atleast i respect virgins, and wont chase after them to deflower them, which alot of dikkhead guys get a thrill out of
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Trazi Vise
Amicus
Today's "church" has NOTHING to do with religion.
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Post by Trazi Vise on Mar 9, 2009 4:51:14 GMT -5
^ Good to see, but I think (and know) of women who lie. Who are actually virgins but don't tell the man out of fear or looking stupid, so you probably have deflowered many :-)
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tyson
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Post by tyson on Mar 9, 2009 4:59:15 GMT -5
that could be true. i'm not sure if i have been with one like that. dont they usually bleed? lol but i know of someone else who has experienced that. this guy i know who was going out with this girl, had sex with her, thinking she already has had sex before, but she apprently didnt, and started bleeding. the guy got upset coz he wouldntve had sex with her knowing she was a virgin. the happy ending is that they have stayed together, and been going out for like 8 years.
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Trazi Vise
Amicus
Today's "church" has NOTHING to do with religion.
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Post by Trazi Vise on Mar 9, 2009 5:06:03 GMT -5
I didn't bleed the first time. It bleed some time after. Anyway, was gona say before you can do other things with women and still get std's not just from sex. So to say a virgin is "clean" is more than an understatement!
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tyson
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Post by tyson on Mar 9, 2009 5:12:22 GMT -5
what other things?.... std's happen from sexual contact. if you practice safe sex, then you should be ok. so that means no oral sex. i've never went down on a woman, and never will. the only woman i would do that is to my future wife.
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