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Post by Novus Dis on Apr 11, 2009 10:40:49 GMT -5
I have never boasted. In fact, I have tried to explain how life is difficult in Australia as well. Also, the Australian Dollar has the same value as the Bosnian Mark (or did the last time I was in Bosnia). If and when I go there next time, they won't get more than the standard Balkan present (jar of jam or pickles) and if they disown me then to hell with them.
Seriously, the amount of money my immediate family has sent to my distant family is ridiculous (probably in the tens of thousands of dollars but definitely over 10,000$) and they have wasted most of that money on stupid things they don't need. The money was sent even though we were heavily in debt. Yet are they grateful? Hell no, they just ask for more! Sometimes one wonders what good a family is other than scrounging off of you.
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Post by manijak on Apr 11, 2009 10:53:48 GMT -5
Studies show that the less money you have, the more likley you will spend it on something. (not neccesarily bad thing for a poor economy where business and stores do need to be succesful)
I mean if your family makes 600KM..and maybe that is just enough to get food, pay the bills, etc and then your 100KM gives them that extra to do something fun and make their life somewhat fun and interesting..of course they will spend it.
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Nikola
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Post by Nikola on Apr 11, 2009 11:09:38 GMT -5
I have never boasted. In fact, I have tried to explain how life is difficult in Australia as well. I tried the exact same thing except nobody believed me. And that's mostly because for every one of me and you, there are ten others who brag and act as though they are rich. My father also visited Macedonia when I was there and he wore golden rings, bracelets and necklaces like some kind of sultan, and kept going on about how good we have it overseas and how much we earn, etc. And yet after 20 years here, he still doesn't actually own his house. He drives around in a two grand Camry and works a crappy minimum wage job that nobody else wants to do. So I don't blame them for hating diaspora sometimes because many of us act like scumbags.
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Post by ilirdardani on Apr 11, 2009 11:15:00 GMT -5
I have never boasted. In fact, I have tried to explain how life is difficult in Australia as well. Also, the Australian Dollar has the same value as the Bosnian Mark (or did the last time I was in Bosnia). If and when I go there next time, they won't get more than the standard Balkan present (jar of jam or pickles) and if they disown me then to hell with them. Seriously, the amount of money my immediate family has sent to my distant family is ridiculous (probably in the tens of thousands of dollars but definitely over 10,000$) and they have wasted most of that money on stupid things they don't need. The money was sent even though we were heavily in debt. Yet are they grateful? Hell no, they just ask for more! Sometimes one wonders what good a family is other than scrounging off of you. Same here dude, parents have sent over 10,000 dollars in the first 5 years we were here in the US, now we have stopped after seeing how they don't give a F if you help or not.
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Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 13, 2009 22:53:22 GMT -5
I had the crappiest company nokia cell phone last time I was over & everyone felt sorry for me. Meanwhile the chick sitting at the deli smoking all day to earn $100 a month has the latest N95 worth a years salary. Go figure. They all thought I was poor because of my phone so I got shouted everywhere I went.
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Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 13, 2009 22:59:34 GMT -5
So they try to have a benefit out of you otherwise what good you are to them (lets be frank). Balkanians are not the warmest of people to 'outsiders' (which basically means anyone outside of the small family circle such as mother-father-kids) and basically could care less for them. Long gone are the days of original tribal mentalities and modern perceptions of family have deeply set in. Now with that said add to this an outsider from the west coming once every several years for short time span (several weeks) most likely boasting to people who are doing reverse of that and natural response is to help him trim some 'fat' (otherwise why boast since that really is saying to them that you have far more then you need and they certainly would not say no to some of it). Now get them used to gifts and you become their fake star. Fake cause even though you might have given them for 99 times in the row but if you omit once the last time you become a shadow not worth mentioning or if mentioned it would not be in a positive light. ----- In terms of income and overall living standards I see that vast majority of diaspora Balkan families do not live a more luxurious life in their new western home. In fact many or at least some downgraded in those terms and do not appear better off by being here yet still persist (enigma to me). Would not one desire living like crap home rather then living like crap in strange land (at least one is home). You've basically just described the difference between the Montenegrin mentality in comparisson to the rest of the former Yugo. Unlike you guys, the rest of us are very warm to outsiders & are knowhere near as tribal as Montenegrins. In Srpska you don't get asked if you want a coffee & meza, it just comes, you don't have to wait half an hour for it to come & then get told about how wonderful montenegrin hospitality is & how you're just about to drink the best coffee & wine in the universe... which is actually crap.
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Post by oszkarthehun on Apr 14, 2009 4:03:03 GMT -5
I think it depends on the people.
when my Family moved from Eastern Europe to Western country it seemed many relatives thought we were suddenly rich. Our family did send back certain things but people were asking for things as if it was soooo easy for us to send them. I think there is a certain idea that people who leave are way better off or rich I remember one girl from Hungary telling me she doesnt have a rich American Uncle cause her family didnt travel to America. I live here in Australia and my Uncle here isnt rich either.
But really I think it depends on the people as not everyone thinks in that way.
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paja
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Post by paja on Apr 14, 2009 14:50:40 GMT -5
That's a short-sighted view. Their overall standard of living does decrease, not knowing the language and needing to assimilate into a different culture, but the opportunity to better their standard of living is much greater in a Western country than in the Balkans. This is especially true when considering the next generation, children. Most families' motivation behind emigration is to provide better opportunity to their children, and they certainly succeed in that case.
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Post by L0gjICK on Apr 16, 2009 7:54:35 GMT -5
Good topic . I think there is a certain resentment from the natives once you go back which is basically stems from jealousy. Now whether this jealousy is self-imposed (i.e. bragging about how good your life is in your new country) or the native envying the material object you own, varies from person to person. Personally, I am a very modest person and I have never bragged in my life. Sure I make more money in 2 months then my compatriots make in a year, but the reason I don't brag is because sometimes I actually envy them at times. Take for example me and my cousin, I have worked since the age of 15 and throughout my college while my cousin has been "mooching" (props to the person that used this word originally ) off of my uncle and my grandmother (who my father sends a monthly allowance to) his whole life. He's never had to work a 50 hour work week and have a daily commute of 3 hours to his job and go to school afterwards, and sometimes I envy his situation. I wish I could just be a student and dorm in and have all my expenses paid. I wished my parents would give me a monthly allowance and I wouldn't have to worry about a stress of a job. Anyways the thought "the grass is greener on the other side" always comes through my mind. Like I mentioned before, yes I do own more material things then my cousin and yes I do have a larger bank account, but is my quality of life really that much better? Material wise yes, spiritually, I do not know.
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Post by L0gjICK on Apr 16, 2009 8:00:23 GMT -5
And yes I am looked as less of a "patriot." I have been raised in the states since the age of 3 and to expect my Albanian to be as fluent as theres is tough. But I have never talked bad about my own and I do speak the language well enough to get by. This argument is used by some natives in a "superior complex" sort of way. I am more affluent and the only way they can feel a sense of enpowerment over myself is to make themselves think they are more "Albanian."
In the end, and I'm not trying to brag here, the money that is sent by the diaspora is the only reason there is some sort of economy where I'm from. If we weren't "patrtiots" we would not visit back every summer and spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to visit developing nations when that money could be used to spent at exotic tourists spots. We would completely assimilate and never care about our motherland, but thankfully that is not the case for many of us and I will try to impose the same values to my kids who will probably be less "Albanian" then I am.
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Post by chalkedon on Apr 22, 2009 8:08:03 GMT -5
a simple answer would be * Yes *.
i was a part of the diaspora and now am a full blow greek after being here 10 yrs. We balkan ppl dont like to hear the truth sometimes. And the diaspora have a real annoying way of bringing it up ;-D They dont mind reminding you how 5hitty the infrastructure is or how backward we may be.
But they are right...we balkan ppl are still light yrs away from normalcy. I also believe the anglo-saxon model of things isnt all that better. They may have all the infrastructure and resources, but they have lost their common sense. I mean you hear everyday stories in the news of these ppl just losing it. Every other day they are going postal w/ ppl blowing away family members and then offing themselves in some public area. And these are ppl that have everything readily available in front of them. Its true...the more you have, the more you take for granted and the more miserable you become....
I mean if they have problems...what the hell do we have here ?!
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