Post by spartacus on Jul 22, 2009 20:54:32 GMT -5
Brothers, it has been ages since i've wrote to you of my latest trials as the savior of Croatia.
For the past week, I have been experiencing explosive growth. The secret? Dog meat. High in protein, readily digestible, and cheap.
Recently, with the big money i'm making now in security, I hired a chef, a Korean named Kwak. Kwak told me all about dogmeat's powers. So Jimmy and I decided that we had to include it in our bulking diet!
We went to the local Korean grocery store, and left with 20 pounds of dog meat that Kwak picked out himself. Jimmy and I have been eating 10 pounds of dogmeat a day, and brothers, my lifts are all up 15 percent!
But some people are ignorant, and simply don't respect other cultures. Later, at the gym, in between sets of 500 pound military presses, I decided to snack on some dog meat I had brought along in my training bag.
.
There I was, quietly feasting on the roasted dog, when this young woman asked me what I was eating.
"Dog. Would you like a bite?" I offered, holding it out to her.
"You are a BEAST!" she screamed in my face.
I had had enough of her rudeness and here disrespect for Korean culture, and promptly shoved the dog meat into her racist mouth. Jimmy stood next to her and, glaring, snarled
"Fookin eat, bitch!" She chewed on the dog meat and then ran off screaming.
Jimmy and I roared with laughter that was heard for miles around.
Later on during our set of 1,000 pound squats, the manager came up to us and asked us to leave.
"Look, we can't have you guys shoving dog meat into peoples mouths. You have to leave"
The manager was Japanese, no wonder he wouldn't condone Korean culture. I walked up to him
"Well in that case..... I DECLINE!"
I shoved the dog meat into his mouth and hurled him through the wall, shattering the entire window.
"That's for what you did in Hideyoshi's invasions of Korea!" I roared
"FOOKING ROIGHT!" Jimmy yelled swinging his bike chain on anyone who dared get in our path.
After hearing the sound of police sirens, Jimmy and I took off on the Rolls Royce,,, laughing!
Kwak was very happy to hear of our brave defense of Korea. It was the least we could do after Kwak introduced us to this amazing source of protein.
So, lads, head to the humane society and stock up!!
For the past week, I have been experiencing explosive growth. The secret? Dog meat. High in protein, readily digestible, and cheap.
Recently, with the big money i'm making now in security, I hired a chef, a Korean named Kwak. Kwak told me all about dogmeat's powers. So Jimmy and I decided that we had to include it in our bulking diet!
We went to the local Korean grocery store, and left with 20 pounds of dog meat that Kwak picked out himself. Jimmy and I have been eating 10 pounds of dogmeat a day, and brothers, my lifts are all up 15 percent!
But some people are ignorant, and simply don't respect other cultures. Later, at the gym, in between sets of 500 pound military presses, I decided to snack on some dog meat I had brought along in my training bag.
.
There I was, quietly feasting on the roasted dog, when this young woman asked me what I was eating.
"Dog. Would you like a bite?" I offered, holding it out to her.
"You are a BEAST!" she screamed in my face.
I had had enough of her rudeness and here disrespect for Korean culture, and promptly shoved the dog meat into her racist mouth. Jimmy stood next to her and, glaring, snarled
"Fookin eat, bitch!" She chewed on the dog meat and then ran off screaming.
Jimmy and I roared with laughter that was heard for miles around.
Later on during our set of 1,000 pound squats, the manager came up to us and asked us to leave.
"Look, we can't have you guys shoving dog meat into peoples mouths. You have to leave"
The manager was Japanese, no wonder he wouldn't condone Korean culture. I walked up to him
"Well in that case..... I DECLINE!"
I shoved the dog meat into his mouth and hurled him through the wall, shattering the entire window.
"That's for what you did in Hideyoshi's invasions of Korea!" I roared
"FOOKING ROIGHT!" Jimmy yelled swinging his bike chain on anyone who dared get in our path.
After hearing the sound of police sirens, Jimmy and I took off on the Rolls Royce,,, laughing!
Kwak was very happy to hear of our brave defense of Korea. It was the least we could do after Kwak introduced us to this amazing source of protein.
So, lads, head to the humane society and stock up!!