Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
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Post by Zvone on Apr 12, 2010 22:59:41 GMT -5
Quote from Dr. Laura Schlessinger, "When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs."Read more: today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23575221/#ixzz0kwuuD3yL
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tyson
Amicus
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Post by tyson on Apr 13, 2010 0:57:51 GMT -5
i voted "it depends" , but if i were to simplify that, then i would chose "no".
the reason why i chose "it depends" , is because there is definately some truth in that the wives are refusing to have sex with their husands, for whatever reasons, and this causes men to be tempted to cheat on their wives. men's sexual urges are much stronger than women. why i say this,... well because for the simple fact that men have balls, filled with sperm, and when there's too much sperm inside the balls, it needs to be released through ejaculatuion. therefore men need to have sex, or else they'll wet their beds every month. for any guys here, just try to go for a week without sex, which includes masturbating, and see if you can last. its extremely hard to do. thats not to say women dont have sexual urges, because they do, but for men, its alot stronger, given what i have just stated previously.
but then there are just plain sex fiends like tiger woods, who obviously is obsessesed with sex. maybe it couldve started with her wife not givin it up, then he looked elsewhere for it, and then got carried away and couldnt stop. i dont know. my guess is he's just a sex fiend.
but with all that being said, you ultimately have the choice whether to cheat on your wife or not. if you only get sex once a week from your wife, just try to jack off when you need to. hopefully you can talk to your wife, and discuss the issue, and maybe she'll give it up more. but i would strongly advice not to cheat on your wife. marriage should be seen as sacred, and you wouldnt like your wife sleeping with another man, so dont do it.
but yeh, in alot of cases, maybe the wives could maybe be not so stingy to their husbands with sex, and maybe their husbands will be alot less tempted to cheat.
i also heard about a survey which said that most men that cheat on their wives, actually prefer the sex with their wife alot more. just somethin to think about.
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Post by vanilo on Apr 13, 2010 5:41:56 GMT -5
I also voted "it depends". But unlike Tyson, I'm leaning more towards "yes, women do share the blame". Not just because a lot of women are extremely stingy with sex - and therefore, sort of, push their men into other women's arms - but also because, from what I've seen and experienced, women are really naive, don't have high standards (or any standard at all) and expect very little, if anything, from men (they also give men very little in return). They look past serious flaws...choose to marry men despite clear minuses, in a naive fairytale hope that the men will change for them. So stupid. Some examples of naivity: - Sandra Bullock...who the hell marries a man whose taste in women is porn actresses?! SERIOUS FLAW!!! It says a lot about what kind of "man"/disgusting disease bomb he is...just look at her husband. It's like pus is oozing out of his eyes...yuck. - Women who marry men with a record of being unfaithful. If he can do it once, he's definitely capable of doing it again (and probably will do it again). I don't think men with a record are worth betting your entire future on...that's like investing your only million that you'll ever have on the "scientific" hopes that pigs will be able to fly tomorrow. - Women who marry men who treat them badly prior their wedding, or before starting a family. It really boggles my mind that any woman can think marriage and/or children will change a man. What you see, is what you get - if you don't like it, don't bloody marry it! It's also extremely awful and irresponsible to bring kids into such an unstable situation anyway....only some immoral, ignorant idiot would do that. How can you offer your kids the worst of the worst... - As mentioned, women have no standards whatsoever, and let any men in - however useless, worthless and disgusting they are. I don't know if it's because women are really desperate for partners, or if it's because they're just stupid. Maybe it's both. But yeah...I think men have become careless about themselves, and careless about impressing women - because women don't care about men...because women don't expect men to offer anything; "I'm an independant woman", "ah, it doesn't matter that he's a bum that lives under the bridge and has 4 kids from 4 different women - as long as he loves me, we'll get through anything". BULLSHIT!!! . I really hate that kind of stupid, naive fairytale talk...that "miracles" will happen just because you "love" someone. And being independant does not = not expecting anything from the man you're going to marry! I know women who make their own money, sure, but they're anything but independant. They can't do the most simple thing on their own...they need help with everything. That's not independance! Anyway...I basically think that when you're being naive and stupid, you are to blame for your own misery and problems. It should be illegal for such people to be in relationships. And breed more stupidity into this world. We don't need another generation of naive little girls, and careless, useless boys. I'm trying to work out when it became unfashionable to raise little boys to be gentlemen and little girls to be ladies...
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Nikola
Senior Moderator
Posts: 1,835
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Post by Nikola on Apr 13, 2010 5:54:08 GMT -5
I agree with most of what has already been said in this thread. Not with serial cheaters like those two guy's in the pictures above though. That's a different story.
My friend got married 2 years ago and he said he's getting virtually no sex now, even though he was getting plenty at the beginning. And even though he still loves his wife, all he talks about now is how he wishes he was single again so he could get some. If his only option is masturbation, then that's worse than being single.
I can never understand how women can go from so keen at the beginning, to so not keen after marriage.
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Post by vanilo on Apr 13, 2010 6:06:50 GMT -5
I can never understand how women can go from so keen at the beginning, to so not keen after marriage. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. I don't get that either, and I actually feel really bad for men. You'd think that once people commit properly to each other, they'd do their absolute best to make each other happy and satisfied. But I guess not! It sounds horrible but...I think a lot of women are totally convinced that they're being "the boss", or that they have power, in the relationship by depriving their husbands from sex. When in fact, it just makes them really lousy wives. I mean, sure, it's unfair to expect a woman who's really angry or upset with her husband to perform in bed but...there's a difference between not being in the mood once in a while, and constantly saying no just to be cruel...
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Post by hellboy87 on Apr 13, 2010 11:02:29 GMT -5
I agree with most of what has already been said in this thread. Not with serial cheaters like those two guy's in the pictures above though. That's a different story. My friend got married 2 years ago and he said he's getting virtually no sex now, even though he was getting plenty at the beginning. And even though he still loves his wife, all he talks about now is how he wishes he was single again so he could get some. If his only option is masturbation, then that's worse than being single. I can never understand how women can go from so keen at the beginning, to so not keen after marriage. How long was his a relationship with his wife before he married her?
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Post by hellboy87 on Apr 13, 2010 11:04:45 GMT -5
"to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs."
What kind of stupid woman would marry a man with no confidence whatsoever?
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Post by hellboy87 on Apr 13, 2010 11:17:56 GMT -5
I hope all the married men of this forum will post what they think on this.............Am intrested
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Nikola
Senior Moderator
Posts: 1,835
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Post by Nikola on Apr 13, 2010 17:40:41 GMT -5
How long was his a relationship with his wife before he married her? About two years. And he said there was no problem with sex during those first two years. In fact, it was the opposite. He was always hinting how she was more into sex than he was. From her waking him up in the morning with a pleasant.... gesture, to take care of that morning glory, to sometimes staying at home on a weekend and having sex all day long (lol, I've done that (with a girl, not by myself)). It's only 12 months into the marriage that she wanted to do it less and less, always making excuses how she's not in the mood. I can understand someone not being in the mood every once in a while, even men get that, but it's a complete reversal to how she was at the beginning.
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Post by logjiktek on Apr 13, 2010 20:10:43 GMT -5
I also voted "it depends". But unlike Tyson, I'm leaning more towards "yes, women do share the blame". Not just because a lot of women are extremely stingy with sex - and therefore, sort of, push their men into other women's arms - but also because, from what I've seen and experienced, women are really naive, don't have high standards (or any standard at all) and expect very little, if anything, from men (they also give men very little in return). They look past serious flaws...choose to marry men despite clear minuses, in a naive fairytale hope that the men will change for them. So stupid. Some examples of naivity: - Sandra Bullock...who the hell marries a man whose taste in women is porn actresses?! SERIOUS FLAW!!! It says a lot about what kind of "man"/disgusting disease bomb he is...just look at her husband. It's like pus is oozing out of his eyes...yuck. - Women who marry men with a record of being unfaithful. If he can do it once, he's definitely capable of doing it again (and probably will do it again). I don't think men with a record are worth betting your entire future on...that's like investing your only million that you'll ever have on the "scientific" hopes that pigs will be able to fly tomorrow. - Women who marry men who treat them badly prior their wedding, or before starting a family. It really boggles my mind that any woman can think marriage and/or children will change a man. What you see, is what you get - if you don't like it, don't bloody marry it! It's also extremely awful and irresponsible to bring kids into such an unstable situation anyway....only some immoral, ignorant idiot would do that. How can you offer your kids the worst of the worst... - As mentioned, women have no standards whatsoever, and let any men in - however useless, worthless and disgusting they are. I don't know if it's because women are really desperate for partners, or if it's because they're just stupid. Maybe it's both. But yeah...I think men have become careless about themselves, and careless about impressing women - because women don't care about men...because women don't expect men to offer anything; "I'm an independant woman", "ah, it doesn't matter that he's a bum that lives under the bridge and has 4 kids from 4 different women - as long as he loves me, we'll get through anything". BULLs**t!!! . I really hate that kind of stupid, naive fairytale talk...that "miracles" will happen just because you "love" someone. And being independant does not = not expecting anything from the man you're going to marry! I know women who make their own money, sure, but they're anything but independant. They can't do the most simple thing on their own...they need help with everything. That's not independance! Anyway...I basically think that when you're being naive and stupid, you are to blame for your own misery and problems. It should be illegal for such people to be in relationships. And breed more stupidity into this world. We don't need another generation of naive little girls, and careless, useless boys. I'm trying to work out when it became unfashionable to raise little boys to be gentlemen and little girls to be ladies... Nice input. But this issue is about men cheating because of the fault of women. My short and quick answer: Sexually speaking, if the wife doesn't put out and the man ends up cheating to satisfy his "needs," then I think the women deserves huge blame. I believe "love making" should be a common thing amongst married couples. Emotionally speaking, I don't think its the wife's job to make the husband feel like some nordic God, but at the same time if the wife continues to belittle the husband and continually put down his ego, then I can understand why if he were to cheat. I believe the same goes for the opposite sex as well. Other then those issues, I can't emphasize with a cheating spouse. Marriage is a huge emotional bond. If you're not willing to make the commitment, then don't get married. Remain a bachelor/bachelorette. Note this is coming from a 22 year old. I might be a bit naive.
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Post by vinjak on Apr 13, 2010 22:13:44 GMT -5
Gentlemen want to know the secret ? Its housework and laughs.... Share the load, do it together and keep her laughing and you will never go without again.
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Post by Emperor AAdmin on Apr 14, 2010 0:15:36 GMT -5
Many times it appears that people are also not sincere to each other at the beginning about who they are only later to discover they the person they fell in love with is actually fictional. Once they discover that the actual person is in fact a stranger then are they even in a real relationship one wonders.
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Post by vanilo on Apr 14, 2010 0:50:13 GMT -5
Nice input. But this issue is about men cheating because of the fault of women. I think being naive and not thinking about the choices you make are huge faults! Sure, we're talking about men who go out and cheat, but I don't think women can just sit back and pretend like they don't have anything to do with getting together with their men in the first place. Men who do these kind of things often have suspicious characteristics in the first place, and they're quite easy to spot if you really look and take some time in getting to know this person. Women have a responsibility in making sure that the men they choose to be with are good men - but it's like women think they don't need to do that. They think men themselves are going to make sure they're good for their women. What a ridiculous expectation! My "philosophy is that men (and women) are scum until something else is proven! More than once! I'm all for testing peoples' characters before letting them in...
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Post by chalkedon on Apr 14, 2010 7:11:37 GMT -5
"My "philosophy is that men (and women) are scum until something else is proven! More than once! " ------------------------------------------------------------------
reminds me of a saying in greek...
When your wife walks in the door, smack her upside the head. If you dont know what for...she does.
sounds better in greek but funny nonetheless...
in any case, i agree w/ you vanillo.
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Post by hellboy87 on Apr 14, 2010 8:09:32 GMT -5
What is your take on this?^
Logjik,I didnt know you're 22.So am I.
Niki Nikola,I remember reading somewhere that said that women tend lose their sex drive once they get into marriage.How old is this friend of yours?
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Post by chalkedon on Apr 14, 2010 8:55:17 GMT -5
IMO, women have tremendous interest in mystery, intrigue, success rate and self perception of themselves. Once any of those are lost...it can result in a boring marriage. Thats why many women dont have that interest to have sex after marriage. The hunt for a partner is over for them and usually the " mystery " of their partner is no longer there. She will soon get used to seeing him in the crapper or ironing his underwear and all kinds of everyday things that will wear her down in the long run.
Men are more simplistic than that...we think with our penisis and would be more tempted to go out and have a sexual encounter to quickly satisfy our lust. Im not saying women dont do the same....far from the truth. But in a womens case its USUALLY more complex than that.
I think the best way to keep a marriage going good is always keep the partner on suspense. Try not to make yourself look like a beat up has been of your former selves. Work out, look good and make sure other ppl take notice of you in front of your wife.
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Post by vanilo on Apr 14, 2010 9:48:39 GMT -5
reminds me of a saying in greek... When your wife walks in the door, smack her upside the head. If you dont know what for...she does. sounds better in greek but funny nonetheless... How do you say it in Greek?
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
Senior Moderator
Simarik Turkish Pwincess
Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Apr 14, 2010 9:52:43 GMT -5
I think that women can partly share the blame, if they aren't having sex with their husbandss. This is not always the case though, some men find it hard letting go of their freedom days. Other men get bored and need a quick thrill once in a while. Men are more socially detached than women, they don't have the guilt trip issues that women do. Sometimes, its not the man thats the problem, its the 'other women' that shake their tails and latch ontoa man knowing he is married.
How many times i've witnessed the same scenario... women thinks mans cheating, gets paranoid starts being a bit.ch to husband. man gets stressed goes out more... man meets new women, she likes him Man goes home to nagging paronoid psycho wife Man is getting sick of this constant moaning... Man goes to new girl has sex... man feels guilty starts treating wife a lot better....
etc etc...
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Post by vanilo on Apr 14, 2010 9:55:52 GMT -5
I think the best way to keep a marriage going good is always keep the partner on suspense. Try not to make yourself look like a beat up has been of your former selves. Work out, look good I agree...marriages don't magically become boring, it's the people involved who make it boring when they stop making an effort, surprising each other, doing nice things for each other, look amazing for each other and just...stop having fun together! And yeah, it's not just the man's job, of course...it'd be unfair to make it only his "job". It reminds me of a friend I have, who always complain about her husband being boring. Apparently, he never takes her out, never arranges anything fun or hot for them, never surprises her or anything. At first, I thought she actually did those things for HIM (why else would she complain?) but it turned out she doesn't do squat either, and her husband, funny enough, made a random comment to me one ngiht about how he thought his wife is just as boring as she thinks he is, lol. Good LUCK to those two...
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Post by Anittas on Apr 14, 2010 13:01:28 GMT -5
Vanillo's husband is the luckiest guy in the world. Since Vanilo doesn't have a job, she can focus her whole effort on pleasing him. On the other hand, that sounds boring, too. Maybe the husband will look for a woman that has other qualities in which Vanillo lacks. If he then cheats on her, it will be Vanillo's fault for not doing enough to offer him those qualities. And if she does start working, she may not find the time to cook him dinner and please him 24/7; and if he then cheats on her, it will obviously be Vanillo's fault then too. If Vanillo makes a mistake while driving that leads to an accident and which puts her in a hospital for 3 months, 'forcing' her hubby to seek the pleasure of flesh elsewhere, Vanillo will be at fault for putting herself in this situation. And if any of Vanillo's children will face such difficulties in life, Vanillo's blame will be apparent: for she, as a mother, should've raised her children to become immune against such setbacks by teachimg them to identify the right mate and maintain the relationship to good standard. And if Vanillo's grandchildren will face the same setbacks, Vanillo will be at fault for that too: for she should've taken the time to teach her children how to teach their children.
The odds for something going wrong in this lineage is quite high; we should therefore judge Vanillo for screwing it up.
Also, if Vanillo cheats on her husband, it will be her fault alone. I mean, the husband works to provide for his family and Vanillo shows her gratitude by cheating on him?
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