Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
|
Post by Zvone on Apr 14, 2010 13:56:47 GMT -5
Can you love an adopted child as much as a biological one?I Did Not Love My Adopted Child"Those words aren't mine. They come from a letter written by 33-year-old Tennessee nurse Torry Hansen, who sent it on a plane back to Russia with the 7-year-old son she'd adopted last September. But there were moments last summer, after we brought home our newly adopted 3-year-old from China, when they could have been mine. That line perfectly encapsulates the way I felt for weeks after we returned from our adoption trip (although my version would have included more cursing). I did not love that child. That child did not love me (although, when she wasn't screaming at me, she clung to me like the last tree standing in a tornado). I did not wish to parent that child, and I did not think I ever could." Read More: www.slate.com/id/2250590/?Gt1=38001
|
|
|
Post by todhrimencuri on Apr 14, 2010 14:43:03 GMT -5
Can I love an adopted child? Yes. Can I love a RUSSIAN adopted child? ......... I better stop here.
|
|
MiG
Amicus
Republika
Posts: 4,793
|
Post by MiG on Apr 14, 2010 15:59:39 GMT -5
As long as you feed it, provide clothing and shelter, and it treats you like you deserve to be treated... then you'll love it, as much as it will love you.
|
|
Nikola
Senior Moderator
Posts: 1,835
|
Post by Nikola on Apr 14, 2010 17:50:59 GMT -5
Blood is thicker than water, as they say. You could convince yourself to love an adopted child but, if it came down to saving the life of your natural born or the adopted, I know what everyone would choose.
|
|
|
Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 14, 2010 19:49:19 GMT -5
Of course you can love an adopted child. Adoption is massive act of love in it self. This example is only an exception. Love is only not real if you are an atheist, in which case it can be explained chemically, biologically, anthropologically... depressingly. No coincidence Zvone (raging atheist) brings it up. I've no doubt it's a reflection ultimately of his own train of thought.
I found this question interesting also because I have a girlfriend who really wants to adopt. I tend to ignore her when she carries on about it. But a couple of days ago she sent me a completely random sms, "Ï can't wait to adopt. Now that's pure love!" I kind of rolled my eyes and didn't reply but you can imagine what her answer to this question would be.
|
|
yeni
Moderator
gulash freak
Posts: 327
|
Post by yeni on Apr 14, 2010 20:00:54 GMT -5
yes
|
|
Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
|
Post by Zvone on Apr 14, 2010 21:28:29 GMT -5
Not even remotely close to my thought process, but continue to presume too much. Ignorance is bliss.
|
|
|
Post by vanilo on Apr 15, 2010 3:29:50 GMT -5
Yes, I know for a fact that I would love an adopted child. I don't think it's the same kind of love that you would have for your biological child but love comes in different forms, and one form is not better or worse than other forms. What you feel for your own flesh and blood is just...out of this world . You can't even describe it, and you should never be put in a position where you're being shamed for not feeling that love for others - adopted children, for instance . Not even my friends know this but...I actually suffer from a syndrome that, technically, makes it hard for me to get pregnant. I was diagnosed about...7 years ago, I think. I've never been big on having children, even before I knew I suffer from this syndrome, so it never bothered me that I'd might need medical help to get pregnant. I do have a son now, and I'm expecting another one soon, but...if I could not have children, I'm not sure that I'd adopt any. I think I'd be happy living a life with just my husband...
|
|
Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
Senior Moderator
Simarik Turkish Pwincess
Know yourself...
Posts: 3,563
|
Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Apr 15, 2010 8:28:52 GMT -5
Well, Sometimes people don't even love their own biological children, therefore It makes sense that it would be hard to love an adopted child. The important part is that you can care and provide for it better than if it had been in a childrens home. Love is something that just needs to grow, adoption is a very serious issue and some people need to learn it isn't the same as buying a pet. Would I love an adopted child? Most probably I would, probably I'd love it just as much as my own biological child. Love isn't only in Blood, its a feeling that comes from a hormone produced in the brain, therefore there is not a single reason, that I may love it any less than my own.
I would like to adopt one day, perhaps after I've had my own and have enough time and security to care properly for the adopted child.
|
|
|
Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 15, 2010 9:15:13 GMT -5
Not even remotely close to my thought process, but continue to presume too much. Ignorance is bliss. Im happy to be wrong but I doubt that Im far off if you could not even elaborate and its got nothing really to do with ignorance other than your own
|
|
Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
|
Post by Zvone on Apr 15, 2010 12:16:52 GMT -5
Why should I elaborate? Your whole assumption is egregious. No, I don't believe in an invisible dictator, roaming another dimension and controlling our lives. But to say I have a skewed view on every other issue is both flagrant and ignorant. Do you honestly believe I look at my family and say,"Well, they have similar genetics, a favorable immune system, and clean teeth, so, therefore, I love them"? I hope you don't, but if you do, you are truly nescient.
To further deconstruct your prejudice, Dawkins best explained the beliefs of atheists, "Atheists believe in everything theists do; love, marriage, happiness, family - everything except supernatural magic."
|
|
|
Post by todhrimencuri on Apr 15, 2010 12:54:59 GMT -5
Actually, I dont really believe in marriage. At least the ceremonial culturally constructed part of it. I dont see why I have to subscribe to this nonsense notion that someone people have to prove themselves to be "in love" by having some grand eloquent event and some pointless ring. Especially considering I view the whole thing as a giant method of state and religious control by church or state.
|
|
Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
|
Post by Zvone on Apr 15, 2010 14:32:36 GMT -5
That's a separate issue. Just because you're an atheist doesn't connote you're against marriage.
|
|
|
Post by Emperor AAdmin on Apr 15, 2010 14:47:20 GMT -5
I also believe that marriage is certainly an outdated concept and a method of control and if not even form of mild slavery as person is lowered from being an individual to partially a person in a contractual agreement. It is a concept that is destined to die out in the future.
I would only adapt a child from my region. To answer whether I could love it as much as my own the answer is probably not since blood is blood.
My own child is a genetic reflection of myself and even an extension of myself. It was brought to this world as my choice and due to me and thus my direct responsibility. There are other factors involved such as were you actively there when child was growing up and was it made with a woman that you loved or one that at least meant something to you.
Loving you own child is really loving yourself as that child is continuation of yourself. Many parents want their child to do things they themselves were not able to due and in a way they see the child as their second change in succeeding ---- their second chance in life.
Some celebrities adapt foreign children from exotic lands as a form of advertisement of their own name and because it is a IN thing to do. Thus it is not done for genuine reasons. If anything, judging from how some have responded, it is almost safe to say that some of these adapted parents view their kids as semi pets and in a very limited way relate to them.
World is geared to present falsehoods as something true even though what is being said and what is being done is clearly worlds apart. Assumption is that masses are dimwitted talking monkeys liable to believe just about anything as long as the cover is believable enough. Are they correct?
|
|
|
Post by todhrimencuri on Apr 15, 2010 20:00:51 GMT -5
That's a separate issue. Just because you're an atheist doesn't connote you're against marriage. I know, but an Atheist or Agnostic is far more likely to go against these old cultural norms than a religious person for the most obvious reasons. Most of my atheist or agnostic friends feel much the same way on the issue. If you want an example, look at Anarchist Catalonia. One of the things that was done during the Atheist Anarchist revolution was the abolishment of marriage.
|
|
|
Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 15, 2010 23:37:32 GMT -5
Why should I elaborate? Your whole assumption is egregious. No, I don't believe in an invisible dictator, roaming another dimension and controlling our lives. But to say I have a skewed view on every other issue is both flagrant and ignorant. Do you honestly believe I look at my family and say,"Well, they have similar genetics, a favorable immune system, and clean teeth, so, therefore, I love them"? I hope you don't, but if you do, you are truly nescient. Ooo I had to look up egregious and nescient. Hasn’t really beeen like you to use those kind of words maybe you’re trying really hard now. Yeah interesting. So you didn’t want to reply because my guess about you was “egregious: conspicuously bad or offensive.” Well I find a lot of your posts bad and offensive as well. I suppose I don’t always reply. In any case nice that you still sort of tried to elaborate here in your own intangible Zvone type of way. Your thought’s towards your family, now of course I don’t believe you actually consciously think that so I’m not “nescient” though I think a lot of people would come to those conclusions. I think it’s an ultimate reality of atheism and why people also reject atheism. When I was an atheist I did actually resent the world. Love is one of the biggest lies of all. It really has little meaning and every time anyone has said they love you it’s the biggest lie ever since there’s no actual such thing. That is a very distressing and depressing realisation. Well you didn’t deconstruct anything but I like that you mentioned that word since I see your entire train of thought is based on deconstructing things. There’s like a big empty hole of actual convictions missing. You love to deconstruct which really it’s often more like criticising, bitching & whining. You like to be vague with plenty of innuendo and insinuations. Then when someone gets drwan in to analysing you just deny, maintain detachment and go on tangents. In massive contrast to you there is someone like Toskaliku which is why I like and often agree with the guy. He’s a rarer kind of atheist that has plenty of actual convictions with plenty of logic to back himself up so I’ve pretty much understood, agreed with or at least appreciated all of his convictions considering the perspective he’s coming from.
|
|
|
Post by chalkedon on Apr 16, 2010 6:17:40 GMT -5
good question...personally i have no idea. I think over time you can love them as if they were you own. What about some ppl that have mixed up babies at birth. And they realize it after like 10 yrs. I dont think they would want to trade even if they knew it was not theirs.
|
|
Zvone
Amicus
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Posts: 525
|
Post by Zvone on Apr 16, 2010 8:25:27 GMT -5
Really? They're High school words. Well, that's your experience, which I doubt changed much. Your obvious contempt for gays speaks a million words. I'm vague? I think you know my thoughts on every issue I commented on. Criticizing, bitching, and whining is wishful thinking. You're the one that called me a "flamboyant wanker" and other conspicuous words, which in essence, displayed an inability to discuss things civilly. Sounds like bitching and moaning to me. You have already used this argument in the same-sex marriage thread. You said you would agree with manijak rather than me and then manijak replied that he would never agree with you. Toskaliku probably feels the same way. I think you just have a vendetta against me. "Hate for the sake of hating." Well, get over yourself. You're not that important. If you have thoughts that will derail a thread then message me, don't deviate away from the topic. I created a poll on thoughts about adoption, yet you bring in atheism. Why? Because you're that spiteful.
|
|
|
Post by Caslav Klonimirovic on Apr 16, 2010 12:52:55 GMT -5
You think someone has a vendetta against you lol you're actually not that important. I just find you annoying that's all so you can relax about any vendettas.
|
|
MiG
Amicus
Republika
Posts: 4,793
|
Post by MiG on Apr 16, 2010 13:05:48 GMT -5
Let's get back to the topic, shall we?
"No coincidence Zvone (raging atheist) brings it up. I've no doubt it's a reflection ultimately of his own train of thought."
^ That's what started it. Was there really a need to throw this in?
|
|