Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 0:43:58 GMT -5
The ones in bold are the ones I have experienced somehow lol
There is sale on any item, you buy 100 of them
You make coffee in a saucepan
You think that the Turks are the most amazing race on the face of earth and everyone is jealous of us and try to destroy us
You eat Kofte and pilav for 8 days straight because your mum made enough to feed 20 families
Your grandmother can make yogurt or jam from nothing
Your guy relatives look like mafia during bayram
You call an older person you have never met before "uncle", "aunty" or abi
You hide everything from your parents
Your mum uses tea towels to cover food rather than glad-wrap
Your mother does everything for you if you are male
Your father or grandfather used to work for Ford
You claim to be European even though your family is from the Asian side of the Bosphorus
You live or have relatives in Mildura or Shepparton
You live or have relatives in Dandenong, Coburg, Auburn, or Broadmedows/Meadow Heights
You do all the housework and cooking if you're female
You put a sound system in every car you own
Your relatives alone could populate a small city
Everyone is a family friend or somehow related to you
You always try moving out of home but always end up returning
You love kebabs, iskender and eating
You think Turks invented Kickboxing and Football
You can speak fluent Turklish.. eg "I was dertlesing on the phone..' or 'that was lesh lan'
Instead of cooking a meal for 4 you cook for 10
When you have a dinner party there is enough food to last for the next two months
You avoid public places with a member of the opposite sex especially if there is an acquantance within 250 miles radius
You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on"
You get very upset when airlines refuses to accept your luggage which is 80 kg overweight
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up
You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles to get to school
You are always taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
Your mother seems to think her future lies at the bottom of a little coffee cup
Your parents compare you to all of their friends kids
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming for a visit
You talk with your guests at the door for 20-30 minutes when they are leaving
You show your love and affection to people by physically hurting them (esp. pinching, slapping, biting)
if you eat olives, cheese and tomatoes for breakfast
Grape leaves make a great dinner
You can sing at least one Sezen Aksu song, in tune, from beginning to end, backwards and sideway, and inside and out.
You go to football games armed with a range of weaponry ranging from kitchen knives to katanas.
You treat any form of international sports event as a matter of life or death.
You drink your tea from an hourglass-shaped glass… Without milk.
You know you're Turk when your parents pronounce Coburg as Kobruk, Coles as Kolles, Kmart as Kemarket, Broadmeadows as Brotmodoz, Greenvale Reservoir as Fordun Arkasi, Coburg Lake as Corum Parki, Safeway as Sefvay...
You consider Eurovision as some form of patriotic excursion. And you're proud that you no longer end up with 'no point'.
You end a boozy night out having a soup made of cow intestines.
And no night out is a night out without booze. Preferably raki.
And no night out starts before 11 o'clock.
You never buy bin bags but use your saved grocery bags for it.
Sunflower seeds are the snack of choice for a night in watching TV.
You've been on the minibus – a form of public transport consisting of a psychotic driver whose got delusions of being on a Formula 1 track, his assistant that hangs out the side door, shouting out the destination ('Aksaray, Aksaray!) and a dozen passengers huddled together like sardines in a tin.
You know at least one person who thinks yoghurt is the magical cure for every disease.
And another person who thinks going around barefoot is the cause of all major ailments.
You pull your earlobe, make a kissing sound with your lips and touch wood to ward off evil.
Any ill that might come your way is a sign of the much-feared 'evil eye'.
You've spent a good deal of your life taking off your shoes as you walk into a house.
And you've been to houses where they keep slippers of all shapes, sizes and colours for guests.
You've been chased around the house, at least once, by your mom brandishing that fatal weapon: her slipper.
Your family would probably disown you if you became a vegetarian. No meat? What nonsense?
You put salt in your food before you taste it
You can drink everyday of the week but you dont eat pork because its a sin
You yell at somebody who doesn't understand you rather than re-phrasing
You require a visa to travel to half the world's countries.
You get offended by food labels in other countries labelling your own food 'Greek feta', 'Greek yoghurt' or 'Greek humus'…
You dislike the Greeks because they are competition but you like them because they're 'our neighbour'.
You are inclined to dance to any tune, including the banging and clunking of kitchen crockery.
People pretty much take it for granted that you can belly-dance simply because you're Turkish and 'it's your traditional dance, right?'
When you don your latest Nike trainers or your Gucci bag, it is highly likely that someone will ask you whether they are real or fake.
You probably know the hairiest man in the world, or better yet, are related to him.
'Spawn of donkey' or 'bear' are words that are considered to be pretty offensive insults in your native language.
You wouldn't be able to talk if your hands were amputated.
You greet friends with a kiss on each cheek and a hug. Even if you are both male, yes.
You greet your elders by kissing their hand
Not only do you have water surrounding your corner of the world on three sides, you tend to enjoy sitting at the water's edge contemplating your life when you're depressed.
You spend half your lifetime complaining about your country and your people, and the other half announcing to the world you are Turkish and proud of it.
You read this list and go, "Yeah, I do that
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Simarik Turkish Pwincess
Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 0:48:53 GMT -5
when you were 10 you fell asleep under the table at a wedding or at a turkish restaurant.
If you ever ask the taxi driver " Abi, how much speed can you do with this car? " then you are Turkish:)
you think your friends with the name "ayden", "eren" or "deniz" are lucky because their names translate to english easily. you are stuck with the name Ufuk or fatima
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 0:51:07 GMT -5
when u randomly see some1 water the road after a car, when someone goes overseas or somethng..
if you're a girl and dont kno how to cook your mum will strt worrying about wat u will do when you get married
- every family bbq turns into a party - your mum thinks her yoghurt is the best - whenever your mum's frends come over you have kisir and borek and other yummy stuff - if your turkish coffee isnt kopuklu - without foam , ev...de kaldin =) = u will be stuck at home, unable to get married
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:00:08 GMT -5
when your mums ultimate weapon is her oklava ! theres always baklava in the house on bayram mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .when you fear two open doors or windows facing each other. CEREYAN! when u buy heaps of bread and put it in the freezer When you must have bread with every meal no matter what price your cousin bought something for, you tell him that you could of got it for cheaper. you prefer the taste of gazoz to sprite. you can never have too much jewellery. you have never bought a CD from a store, y...our cousin burns them for you. you make monthly CD mixes and you reckon you make the sickest mixes. you kno ur turk when u go to pick a watermelon by tapping on it and listening to the sound whenever you have visitors the night always involves cards or okey. you recognise a big moustache as a sign of superiority. you break out into song whenever you're doing something repetitive like housework, gardening, driving or when at work. your house has doylies and hand made rugs. you consider everyone who is not turkish as yabanci, even though your family migrated here in the sixties. you go to weddings at large receptions and the music is just loud enough so you can't make conversation with the person sitting next to you. when your dad tell you to be quiet, you be quiet. .if you have a younger sister you make sure she never gets a boyfriend you know your turk when your dayi/amca owns a kebab shop you know your turk when you have so many cousins you cant remember their names
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:04:31 GMT -5
1- If someone is watching a construction work like a movie. 2-If people cause a traffic jam because they slow down to watch an accident scene.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:12:54 GMT -5
More Turkish Cypriotish,...
when u get an ass whoopin for puttin ur feet up somewhere or try to get a little comfortable
You have seen loads of those old, over-the-top, drama filled films where something terrible happens to the girl in the end and the moral of the story? She went against her family and didn't listen to them!
*You find yourself making a comment on everything. EVERYTHING. Nothing is safe.
*When you get to the "ethnicity" section of any official form everywhere else in the world, you're the "other" that they're talking about.
*There's a deyim or atasöz for every situation.
*You have at least 2 Ali's, Mehmet's or Ahmet's in your family.
When you're getting off the phone with another Turk and you end with "Hadi, bye bye, bye...." You always seem to say that with a million byes... LOL
You know you are Turkish when you see a crowd and NOT a LINE in front of an ATM or a till...etc. You know you are Turkish when everyone around you has high or low blood pressure and that's all they ever talk about.
You no your a turk when your nene makes you corba when your ill
you no your a turk when the "visiters" come around and a whole buffet is out for them and you become there servant!
When your realtives, and even you, are convinced that homosexuality is a mental illness
When, after a coughing fit, you slap your thighs as a form of conclusion.
You have random moments of Islam. Like, a short dress you wore a week ago is a top the next. Or you feel to fast one year, feel to f**k it the next, y'know....
You go to weddings, and there's always a group of girls working blood sweat and tears to battle it out as the best belly dancer.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:14:12 GMT -5
You know youre Turkish when you dont recognise half of the people at your wedding.
When you are sitting in the passenger seat of a car and your dad suddenly breaks and feels the need to put his arm across your chest to protect you.
When they use their index finger or arm to explain the measurement of something.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
Posts: 3,563
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:18:39 GMT -5
When sheet becomes shit, coke becomes cock and whisky becomes visky!
you know your turkish when your mum has about 6 sisters that are always together but as soon as there apart theyre gossipping about eachother...
when everytime you go to cyprus you have to bring a whole suitcase of hellim back.....
when you see at least 6 members of your family everyday....
when within 10 minutes of meeting someone, your calling them abi or apla....
you are 24 years old and still living with your parents
you are an adult and your mother still thinks she can bash you
you think kick boxing is the Turkish national sport
your mother used to hit you when you were small to make you stop crying..
your mother freak-cleans the house BEFORE the cleaning ladies arrive because she doesn't want them to see "our mess".
* you kiss your elder's hands even if it's your first time meeting them.
* (if you're a girl) you get AT LEAST one lady you met 5 minutes ago proposing that you marry their son.
*tea time is more important than the actual meal.
*chicken-breast pudding (tavuk gogsu) sounds really strange and gross to everyone else but you.
after circumcision you become a MAN at age of 5 and everyone looks at your "çuçul" and laughs
your mum looks around for possible brides on Seyran's or weddings
"ah, you're getting fat since i last saw you". this is coming from your uncle at a wedding in front of about 100 people!
When you try to outdance someone else at a wedding
*It's dedikodu time at a funeral
* When you will get sick if: your hair is wet; not wearing shoes outside; the windows are opened and you are sleeping; the car window is opened and wind is blowing on you or if you run the airconditioner in the car
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
Posts: 3,563
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:19:44 GMT -5
If someone you know sees you with a guy(even if its just a friend) , the whole town knows about it even before you get home.
*Your in the sokaks 24/7
*Its 50% off at the bargain shop, and your parents go crazy
*When you dont smile at someone you know, the person thinks your relationship is over.
*You speak Turk-lish.
*Your afraid to take out you cell phone at the dinner table/beside you parents
*When you want to go out with your friends, you parents lock the doors untill they see your friends with their own eyes.
*You have trouble chewing properly in public
*You have a code nickname for every guy/girl on your cell phone.
*When you walk into your apartment, the first thing you smell is the daily; pilav, patetes and corba.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:20:13 GMT -5
u know ur Turkish when ur dad gets angry at u but swears at himself ESOGLUESEK!! and when the older ones say the names of suburbs the way they think its said ie: Flemington turns into Filemington Auburn turns into Oburun and so n so forth =P
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:21:39 GMT -5
*wen yur mum always makes yu take a cardigain wiv yu even tho its baking hot outside
*always forces you to eat ever single bit in your plate at dinner even tho yu say yu feel sik or gna b sik or your full up
*wen sum 1 passes out they throw a hole bottle of kolonya all over you nd stik it up your nose so yu can wake up!
*makes you buy the hole of tesco and complains that the pricelist has come expensive even tho you have at least 2 shopping trolleys full of food
*wen sumfin breaks i.e a glass they always insisted sum 1nz watchin them wiv a bad eye or as they say *goz tuttu* or *gozu olan gozu ciksin*
*wen yu go 2 visit a newborn baby theres at least 10 people crouding around the babys mosses basket trying to pin a piece of gold or a *nazarlik* [evil eye] on the baby babys clothing....and the insist its on da back
*your mum/nene insists yu wear eversingle jewellery you have in the box when you go to a wedding
*sum1 in your familly says your dress/skirt is too short even tho its past your knee cap.
*or wen yu ask 4 permission 4 sumfin nd yur mum says go ask yur dad nd wen yur dad says no yur mum insists that she sed that she sed no even tho she said yes
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:24:12 GMT -5
you know your Turkish when if you leave any bit of food on your plate your mother insists it will cry after you lol yemeğini bittir yoksa sonra arkanda ağlar!!!
1. you go over to someone's house, and they offer you food, and even if you are not hungry they won't take no for an answer, and if you don't eat they get offended coz they think that you either: don't like them or don't like the food they cooked. personally, i think its more insulting being forced to eat & getting food shoved down your throat. 2. you're at a Turkish function or a party or what ever, and there are so many or too many people to say hi to, and so you only say hi to a few people you know, and there will always be one person in the crowd that will feel insulted that you didn't say hi to them, and again they will think that you don't like them, or something like that. ESP. if its a relative. 3. you have to respect your relatives even if you hate their guts and you have to see them during Bayram.
you know you're turkish when your mother won't let you whistle in the house.
you know you're turkish when people say a quick prayer and pretend to spit in baby's faces
you know you're turkish when your mom asks you if you're hungry and will not take no for an answer.
you know your turkish when your parents will not let you go barefoot in the house, even in the summer.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:25:59 GMT -5
When you can't smoke in front of older people. When your breath smells like yoghurt, even though you haven't had any that day when your teacher owns your bones, and your parents own your flesh! (I know somebody understood that!) If you heard growing up that the most important people in the world are the prophet, your parents then Ataturk! If you hear a nationalist song and feel like you have to lower your feet from the table. When you look at a map of the Middle East and Eastern Europe and say "Ahhh, these were once ours" When you feel insulted for being called a Middle Easterner, but listen to Arabesque and love to belly dance. When your mom says that you might go to hell for getting a tattoo. When you come home from a football match you can't talk for three days When you feel comfortable only when there is a thousand people on the bus. When you close all the windows in the car, in the middle of summer, because you might catch a cold. When you make sure to taste everything because you are afraid you might get swollen somewhere.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:27:59 GMT -5
When you bash your country among your countrymen, and tirelessly defend and make excuses for it in front of foreigners. when you spit after praying if you think that gold bracelets are a sound investment if you think Laz jokes are not racist when your conservative parents can sit in front of their TV and cry listening to a transsexual diva sing old songs, and not see the irony.
Your mum is brave enough pass"tarhana" through customs and can by tasting it in front of the officer to prove its not a harmful substance:)
your parents get ALL their news from turkish tv. -your parents are in LOVE with turkish soap operas and they get mad when you compare them to spanish soap operas when they're clearly the same thing!! -one of the only non-haraam things you did commit was not eat pork. -when all your aunts and female relatives gossip -when your parents never watch american tv, but are constantly watching turkish tv. -your dad yells -& yells even louder on the phone -your parents know that it's sunny in istanbul, and don't know it's gonna rain where you live.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:28:50 GMT -5
You eat ice cream too fast or have ice in your glass you will get a sore throat
* If you sweat you will get sick
* Toothpaste is used for burns
* You will get Rheumatism if you don't wear slippers in the house even though it's 100 degrees outside
* You invite 300 people to your wedding but only 150 show up because families are feuding
* You BBQ in the snow
* You try to convince people that *fill in the culture* are ancient Turks
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:29:26 GMT -5
Old people always ask you 'Annen/Baban kimlerdendir?'
Olive oil or Zivaniya are cures for almost every ache/pain/ailment
You spend some part of your summer holiday walking up and down Girne Limani ;o)
Your nene thinks it's the end of the world if you give back an empty plate to a neighbour who gave you cake/food etc
At some point in your life you have seen a plastic donkey that dispenses cigarettes out of it's bum as part of a orta masasi feature (more of a 70s/80s thing)
APMSL to dantel on top of plasma tv...also on backs of all armchairs and seats of sofa
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:30:20 GMT -5
all the dirty cars have ''yika beni'' written on the dust by some child * a 'gelin' is actually a polite and modern way of saying ' slave' * you literally get spat on to protect you from all evil * if the person praying to keep evil away yawns, it means you have alot of 'nazar' * you can go to beyoglu in istanbul without telling anyone, yet, your aunt who lives on the other side of turkey calls you to tell you off before you even get back home * your older brother is there to stalk you and your younger sisters sole purpose in life is to tell tales on you * every wedding, you're introduced to another one of your never ending relatives * you're related to so many random people you end up searching your boyfriends/girlfriends family tree to make sure there's no connection * your parents think every stomach bug is because you walked around bare feet and the cure is a bowl of yogurt * everyone knows everything about you - there are NO secrets * whilst your brother can go out at night with his friends, you can't - because you're a girl, and end up eating cekirdek and watching yaprak dokumu * you discuss issues in soaps as if they were real and get really passionate about it * you have at least one member of your family named Ayse
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:31:53 GMT -5
eating ice cream and failing to have a glass of tepid water afterwards gives you tonsilitis. - wearing a vest in all weathers stops you getting a cold. - drinking water after eating figs causes.........well, istanbul tummy. - there are special communal, rubber slippers for the bathroom - after every card game there is a post mortem - if you don't say the right thing regarding something new you have put the devilis eyes on a person. - if you do say the right thing regarding something new you have put the devils eyes on a person. - you have been buying cigarettes and maybe alcohol for the neighbours since you were about 5. - you can shell and eat ceker dek at the rate of a kilo every 30 minutes without pausing for breath. - you have no problem holding hands/hugging/kissing men in public but would never do that to a girl.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:36:47 GMT -5
after every cup of turkish coffee, you turn the cup upside down on to the saucer and have someone look at your fal
You spend the whole 6 week school summer holiday visiting family in Cyprus/Turkey.
you know you're turkish when you do not follow instructions
you know you're turkish when an elder says 'masallah,masallah...tu tu tu' .......spit in your face & you can't do anything about it!! =)
when relatives come to visit from abroad and bring hellim, zeytin and molohiya as if there's none here!!
Amazingly with any ingredient you can develop a 'borek'....vegetables and fruit gets pickled into a magcun.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesnt talk to her for 10 years.
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Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning
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Know yourself...
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Post by Dèsîŗĕ Yèarning on Feb 25, 2011 1:38:46 GMT -5
~You know you are Turkish when wearing anything else then jeans and a t-shirt is against our 'values' (for example an earring for boys and a mini skirt for girls), but when visiting Turkey during holidays you get shocked, cause everybody is walking and acting around like a 'slut' (both sexes), suddenly you feel... very conservative and backward and if it wasn't for the Turkish flag waving in every corner of the country, you'd feel you were in another country (at least for the big cities that is).
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