Post by spartacus on Apr 14, 2011 1:29:26 GMT -5
I have read that 'anger management' is nonsense. Well, let me say, after Saturday's events, I KNOW anger is real, and it frightens me!
Here is how it all happened...
Saturday night began as always. I got home from a party meeting, ate stacks of pancakes, several packs of bacon, 2 dozen eggs, and a 5-scoop shake of Joe Weider's 'Mega Mass', then donned one of my 1500 dollar Italian suits, and headed off for Saturday evening mass at the local Irish Cathedral. It was my intention to lobby to the Irish community for their support on the construction of Nova Hrvatska.
My driver/security adviser/Nova Hrvatska extremist Kwak, drove me to the 500 year old Cathedral I attend every Saturday night, and we both walked in and sat down most humbly and reverently.
As the mass commenced, I heard a voice behind me whispering, and some giggling, and I simply EXPLODED in rage. I spun around, and screamed
"Would you mind being silent, this is a HOUSE OF GOD, YOU TRAMP!!" in the face of the teenage girl who was the cause of this disturbance.
The congregation was silent, even the priest, Father O'Callahan, stopped saying mass for a moment.
The man in front of me turned around and gave me an insulting look, as if I had somehow done something wrong here!
I sat shaking in rage at this pencil neck, and when that part of the mass came in which members turn to others and shake their hands, saying 'Peace of Christ', this man turned to me. I grasped his hand, began crushing it in a vice-like grip, and screaming.
It took 20 parishioners, including Kwak, to pull me off of him. I voluntarily released my grip, and he fell to the floor, his hand a lump of crushed bone.
Later, outside, as the ambulance took the fellow away, a hostile crowd of parishioners approached me. One of them, a woman who looked about 100 years old, 5 feet tall, and not a pound over 95, came at me with an umbrella,,, she meant to strike me!
Kwak saw this assassination attempt (no doubt she was a member of the Black Hand) and came rushing forward, beating the old woman with his bike chain. She was knocked backward so hard that she did a perfect back-flip and fell to the cement. Kwak took out his bike chain and, swinging it over his head, sent the rest of the hostile crowd running in terror.
"Sowwy boss, we godda gow!"
Kwak and I got into the Rolls Royce and left the scene, as the blaring of police sirens grew near.
Those bastards! It is obvious that the guy who gave me the bad stare did it because he knew I was a Nova Hrvatska party official. How much more discrimination must we face! Even in a Cathedral! My followers are gathering more information on the old woman's attempted assassination of me. Phone calls to Belgrade are commencing.
Here is how it all happened...
Saturday night began as always. I got home from a party meeting, ate stacks of pancakes, several packs of bacon, 2 dozen eggs, and a 5-scoop shake of Joe Weider's 'Mega Mass', then donned one of my 1500 dollar Italian suits, and headed off for Saturday evening mass at the local Irish Cathedral. It was my intention to lobby to the Irish community for their support on the construction of Nova Hrvatska.
My driver/security adviser/Nova Hrvatska extremist Kwak, drove me to the 500 year old Cathedral I attend every Saturday night, and we both walked in and sat down most humbly and reverently.
As the mass commenced, I heard a voice behind me whispering, and some giggling, and I simply EXPLODED in rage. I spun around, and screamed
"Would you mind being silent, this is a HOUSE OF GOD, YOU TRAMP!!" in the face of the teenage girl who was the cause of this disturbance.
The congregation was silent, even the priest, Father O'Callahan, stopped saying mass for a moment.
The man in front of me turned around and gave me an insulting look, as if I had somehow done something wrong here!
I sat shaking in rage at this pencil neck, and when that part of the mass came in which members turn to others and shake their hands, saying 'Peace of Christ', this man turned to me. I grasped his hand, began crushing it in a vice-like grip, and screaming.
It took 20 parishioners, including Kwak, to pull me off of him. I voluntarily released my grip, and he fell to the floor, his hand a lump of crushed bone.
Later, outside, as the ambulance took the fellow away, a hostile crowd of parishioners approached me. One of them, a woman who looked about 100 years old, 5 feet tall, and not a pound over 95, came at me with an umbrella,,, she meant to strike me!
Kwak saw this assassination attempt (no doubt she was a member of the Black Hand) and came rushing forward, beating the old woman with his bike chain. She was knocked backward so hard that she did a perfect back-flip and fell to the cement. Kwak took out his bike chain and, swinging it over his head, sent the rest of the hostile crowd running in terror.
"Sowwy boss, we godda gow!"
Kwak and I got into the Rolls Royce and left the scene, as the blaring of police sirens grew near.
Those bastards! It is obvious that the guy who gave me the bad stare did it because he knew I was a Nova Hrvatska party official. How much more discrimination must we face! Even in a Cathedral! My followers are gathering more information on the old woman's attempted assassination of me. Phone calls to Belgrade are commencing.