Post by spartacus on Jul 1, 2011 22:16:00 GMT -5
To all supporters of Nova Hrvatska,
I hope you will take up my cause and flood United Airlines with emails protesting their horrible service! Discrimination is afoot!
The following is a true story.
I was at a meeting with Macedonian rebels, discussing plans for a future coup, until I received a call from Kwak (my personal chef and loyal Nova Hrvatska extremist of Korean origin and Buddhist faith, as well as the future consul of Nova Hrvatska) He informed me that there was a delay in getting his ticket to Croatia from United Airlines. It appeared that there was a problem with their computer systems and his trip to Croatia would have to be postponed!
"This cannot be! They are sabotaging our plans!" I roared so loud that the meeting fell silent.
"I'll take care of this!" I yelled and immediately ran out with such speed and force that all those who dared get in my way were demolished. A young blond got in my way causing me to crash into her, sending her 500 feet through the air in a perfect backflip.
I sprinted to O'Hare International Airport to fix this mess.
I had faxed them my photos several times, which gave them good views of my enormous arms, monstrous legs, and overall Herculean development which would quash every competitor at the Mr. Olympia. My requests to be granted a ticket for Kwak went unanswered, so I had, in a fit of rage, sprinted there to take matters into my own hands.
As we got there, we ran into none other than GUNTER SCHLERKAMP in the parking lot!
"hey Gunter! Are you going to compete again?" I asked.
"Ja....dis is possible....I've gotta run " and with that he skipped off into a pink Cadillac and roared off, the stereo blasting the 70s hit 'YMCA'.
I lumbered up to the front doors of O'Hare and threw them open with such force that they shattered. I found Kwak and we walked up to the front desk. Kwak addressed the terrified looking 'receptionist' with a roar of
"TAKING CHAJ!!! GET ME TICKET NOOWWWW! O YOO BE SOWWY" that was so loud all the windows in the building rattled.
"Just a minute..." the young terrified woman at the desk sniveled, and quickly picked up a phone and said "Get down here...now...pleeeaaasse!!".
I surmised that she must have been speaking to the head Manager himself.
Just then, several security guards approached Kwak and I, and in an instant, Kwak had his motorbike chain in hand and began beating the guards off, screaming. I grabbed a couple of them and hurled them through the reception desk, demolishing it.
The head Manager appeared, and was astonished to see the guards had all been dealt with.
"Well, Mista...Where my ****ING TICKET?!!" Kwak screamed, then ran charging over and clothes-lined him with such force that he did a perfect back flip and hit the floor unconscious.
As the sound of police sirens neared, Kwak and I headed out, laughing.
I'd given them a piece of my mind, and that night I slept the sleep of the Just.
I am thinking of pressing assault charges against O'Hare for the behavior of those security guards! They are behind a global NWO conspiracy to sabotage all plans for a Nova Hrvatska empire.
I hope you will take up my cause and flood United Airlines with emails protesting their horrible service! Discrimination is afoot!
The following is a true story.
I was at a meeting with Macedonian rebels, discussing plans for a future coup, until I received a call from Kwak (my personal chef and loyal Nova Hrvatska extremist of Korean origin and Buddhist faith, as well as the future consul of Nova Hrvatska) He informed me that there was a delay in getting his ticket to Croatia from United Airlines. It appeared that there was a problem with their computer systems and his trip to Croatia would have to be postponed!
"This cannot be! They are sabotaging our plans!" I roared so loud that the meeting fell silent.
"I'll take care of this!" I yelled and immediately ran out with such speed and force that all those who dared get in my way were demolished. A young blond got in my way causing me to crash into her, sending her 500 feet through the air in a perfect backflip.
I sprinted to O'Hare International Airport to fix this mess.
I had faxed them my photos several times, which gave them good views of my enormous arms, monstrous legs, and overall Herculean development which would quash every competitor at the Mr. Olympia. My requests to be granted a ticket for Kwak went unanswered, so I had, in a fit of rage, sprinted there to take matters into my own hands.
As we got there, we ran into none other than GUNTER SCHLERKAMP in the parking lot!
"hey Gunter! Are you going to compete again?" I asked.
"Ja....dis is possible....I've gotta run " and with that he skipped off into a pink Cadillac and roared off, the stereo blasting the 70s hit 'YMCA'.
I lumbered up to the front doors of O'Hare and threw them open with such force that they shattered. I found Kwak and we walked up to the front desk. Kwak addressed the terrified looking 'receptionist' with a roar of
"TAKING CHAJ!!! GET ME TICKET NOOWWWW! O YOO BE SOWWY" that was so loud all the windows in the building rattled.
"Just a minute..." the young terrified woman at the desk sniveled, and quickly picked up a phone and said "Get down here...now...pleeeaaasse!!".
I surmised that she must have been speaking to the head Manager himself.
Just then, several security guards approached Kwak and I, and in an instant, Kwak had his motorbike chain in hand and began beating the guards off, screaming. I grabbed a couple of them and hurled them through the reception desk, demolishing it.
The head Manager appeared, and was astonished to see the guards had all been dealt with.
"Well, Mista...Where my ****ING TICKET?!!" Kwak screamed, then ran charging over and clothes-lined him with such force that he did a perfect back flip and hit the floor unconscious.
As the sound of police sirens neared, Kwak and I headed out, laughing.
I'd given them a piece of my mind, and that night I slept the sleep of the Just.
I am thinking of pressing assault charges against O'Hare for the behavior of those security guards! They are behind a global NWO conspiracy to sabotage all plans for a Nova Hrvatska empire.