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Pencil in penis backfires
A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.
Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.
So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.
Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.
Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.
"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."
www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1722414.html---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A DESPERATE boyfriend ripped his willy to bits when he tried to cure premature ejaculation by having sex with a HEDGEHOG.
Zoran Nikolovic ? dubbed Mr Jiggywinkle ? claimed to be following the advice of a witch doctor when he injured himself on the animal’s pricks.
The 35-year-old said he had not yet told his girlfriend about his spine romance and added: “God knows what she will think of me.
“I don’t know whether she’s more likely to dump me for being some kind of pervert or for being such an idiot.”
He explained: “I was so ashamed to go to a normal clinic to discuss sexual problems that I was ready to try anything. When the voodoo man suggested having sex with a hedgehog I walked out.
“But he guaranteed me total discretion and 100 per cent success so I decided to try it.”
A hospital spokesman in Belgrade, Serbia, said: “The animal was apparently unhurt. The patient came off much worse from the encounter.
“We have carried out similar operations before, but only on people who have been in accidents.
“No one here has ever come across anything like it, and I doubt any of us ever will again.”
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article63566.ece---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BELLEVUE, OH -- A Serbian man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.
The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Radoslav Vojvodic having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.
The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.
Police say the DVDs show Vojvodic involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.
Police say Vojvodic lives near an elementary school since he left Serbia.
Vojvodic admitted that he had sex with the picnic table when police questioned him.
He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home. He stated that such behavior is normal for a Serb.
Price faces four counts of public indecency. He is free on a $20,000 bond.