Post by bato2 on Jan 28, 2010 8:36:27 GMT -5
Top ten reasons for being Albanian:
1. Your half relatives are in Greece or Italy.
2. You don't give a dam about religion
3. You can be proud of being from "the land of the eagle."
4. You Dream about United Albania with Kosovo and Ilirida
5. You can take weapons from any army garrison and defend your honor.
6. You can get killed in a vendetta and be remembered as the
hero of the family.
7.You own a mercedes , even when you are broke.
8. You can live in the ecologically cleanest country in Europe.
9. You can choose between a president who stole your whole income
10. You can speak perfectly Italian
Top Ten Reasons for being a Serb:
1. You are not a Croat.
2. Basketball team.
3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential elections.
4. You can enjoy the negative media coverage of your country when abroad.
5. You still live in 17 century and think you still fighting the Turks
6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing.
7. All your heroes are War criminals
8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when under economic sanctions.
9. You are the only European country which was bombed by NATO.
10.Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone else's expense.
Top ten reasons for being a Croat:
1. You're not a Serb
2. Soccer team.
3. You get to pretend that your language is different from Serbian, although it's really not.
4. Dubrovnik.
5. You hate Partizan Belgrade FC.
6. Every now and then you get to sing "Danke, Danke,Deutschland," and continue
to sing about independent Croatia.
7. You have a thousand-year culture of which no one has heard.
8. .
9. The glorious World War Two past.
10.You have a thousand-year culture....
Top ten reasons for being Bosnian:
1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.
2. You can pretend that your state exists.
3. Kebab.
4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a really cosmopolitan European city when you
know that it is not.
5. Great kebab.
6. You can be visited by Francois Mitterand, Bernard Henry-Levy,Susan Sontag, and
Bill Clinton and it still doesn't make a difference.
7. Free round-trip to any Moslem country.
8. You get to be bombed by a psychiatrist.
9. You can fly your flag in the UN but nowhere else.
10.Foreigners give you money and don't ask any questions.
Top ten reasons for being Slovenian:
1. You can speak the beautiful Slovene language and know that no one cares
except you.
2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.
3. You can drink after work.
4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps," although you
know it's not that sunny.
5. You can pretend that you are as good as any German while secretly enjoying
the fact that you are a Slav.
6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.
7. You can afford to be Yugo-nostalgic.
8. You can marry a Slovene and have Slovene children who speak Slovene.
9. You don't have to be ashamed when abroad.
10.No one bothers you because no one really cares.
Top ten reasons for being Macedonian:
1. You can call yourself Macedonian and not get killed by a Bulgarian, Greek,
Serb or Albanian.
2. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon and tobacco.
3. You can pretend you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss
off the Greeks.
4. You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.
5. Good relations with your neighbors, especially Greeks and Albanians.
6. American soldiers on your territory.
7. You get to call your country The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.
8. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon, and tobacco.
9. You can successfully pretend your language is not Bulgarian.
10.Everyone is interested in the stability of your country
except your neighbors.
Top ten reasons for being Montenegrin:
1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered by the Turks for
500 years.
2. You are taller than 1.80m
3. You can think of Russia as your Mother, although Russia does not know you are
her son.
4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism with love of Russia and still think
that you are better and more progressive than the Serbs.
5. Goat cheese, grilled lamb, and grappa.
6. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honor.
7. If you are a woman you can kill your husband and everyone knows why
you did it.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to Italy and live like a king.
9. You don't have to work even when you have to.
10. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honour.
1. Your half relatives are in Greece or Italy.
2. You don't give a dam about religion
3. You can be proud of being from "the land of the eagle."
4. You Dream about United Albania with Kosovo and Ilirida
5. You can take weapons from any army garrison and defend your honor.
6. You can get killed in a vendetta and be remembered as the
hero of the family.
7.You own a mercedes , even when you are broke.
8. You can live in the ecologically cleanest country in Europe.
9. You can choose between a president who stole your whole income
10. You can speak perfectly Italian
Top Ten Reasons for being a Serb:
1. You are not a Croat.
2. Basketball team.
3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential elections.
4. You can enjoy the negative media coverage of your country when abroad.
5. You still live in 17 century and think you still fighting the Turks
6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing.
7. All your heroes are War criminals
8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when under economic sanctions.
9. You are the only European country which was bombed by NATO.
10.Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone else's expense.
Top ten reasons for being a Croat:
1. You're not a Serb
2. Soccer team.
3. You get to pretend that your language is different from Serbian, although it's really not.
4. Dubrovnik.
5. You hate Partizan Belgrade FC.
6. Every now and then you get to sing "Danke, Danke,Deutschland," and continue
to sing about independent Croatia.
7. You have a thousand-year culture of which no one has heard.
8. .
9. The glorious World War Two past.
10.You have a thousand-year culture....
Top ten reasons for being Bosnian:
1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.
2. You can pretend that your state exists.
3. Kebab.
4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a really cosmopolitan European city when you
know that it is not.
5. Great kebab.
6. You can be visited by Francois Mitterand, Bernard Henry-Levy,Susan Sontag, and
Bill Clinton and it still doesn't make a difference.
7. Free round-trip to any Moslem country.
8. You get to be bombed by a psychiatrist.
9. You can fly your flag in the UN but nowhere else.
10.Foreigners give you money and don't ask any questions.
Top ten reasons for being Slovenian:
1. You can speak the beautiful Slovene language and know that no one cares
except you.
2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.
3. You can drink after work.
4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps," although you
know it's not that sunny.
5. You can pretend that you are as good as any German while secretly enjoying
the fact that you are a Slav.
6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.
7. You can afford to be Yugo-nostalgic.
8. You can marry a Slovene and have Slovene children who speak Slovene.
9. You don't have to be ashamed when abroad.
10.No one bothers you because no one really cares.
Top ten reasons for being Macedonian:
1. You can call yourself Macedonian and not get killed by a Bulgarian, Greek,
Serb or Albanian.
2. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon and tobacco.
3. You can pretend you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss
off the Greeks.
4. You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.
5. Good relations with your neighbors, especially Greeks and Albanians.
6. American soldiers on your territory.
7. You get to call your country The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.
8. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon, and tobacco.
9. You can successfully pretend your language is not Bulgarian.
10.Everyone is interested in the stability of your country
except your neighbors.
Top ten reasons for being Montenegrin:
1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered by the Turks for
500 years.
2. You are taller than 1.80m
3. You can think of Russia as your Mother, although Russia does not know you are
her son.
4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism with love of Russia and still think
that you are better and more progressive than the Serbs.
5. Goat cheese, grilled lamb, and grappa.
6. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honor.
7. If you are a woman you can kill your husband and everyone knows why
you did it.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to Italy and live like a king.
9. You don't have to work even when you have to.
10. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honour.