Post by derk on Sept 11, 2011 3:26:00 GMT -5
I just came from serbia and montenegro and my experience there sucked ass. I guess I forgot how crappy that place was... Whatever, here are some interesting moments.
I don't speak serbian(thanks god) so I couldn't communicate with anyone... The flight was crappy. The serbian authorities caused a delay for about 12 hours. When we landed, I said to myself, "Derk, you are f**ked up..." and I didn't prove myself wrong I should say. The baggage claim was a disaster. Serbian airport was as dirty as it was during Milosevic I's reign. When I left the airport, I saw a hot piece of serbian chick(!). So using my fluent serbian, we chatted for an hour, shared a few drink etc. (the rest is history). So after my usual job of pleasure-giving, I decided to take a small sight-seeing and historical-place-visiting. Only if I had known that all the cool places were destroyed during the NATO bombings... The weather was above average, it mostly rained and produced a gloomy setting. Good weather to pick-up chicks... So I finally met my old college friend, and we went to a bar in Belgrade. Needless to say it was low-quality and cheap but he assured me all the bars were the same. We drank ouzo, laughed etc. I had a feeling that this vacation was going to be a waste of valuable time until I saw her... She was some hot, really, really drunk slu.tty chick. However, she had a bunch of dudes around her. Using my expertise in the field of seduction, I walked up to her table and started using my charm on her. It was apparent that the losers were unhappy about my presence and they started talking loudly in their on language, which I understood nothing. While these were happening I was showing the girl some cool magic tricks that were blowing her mind off. My friend suddenly came to my side and told me that if we didn't leave the bar right now, those 6 losers would attack us. He also mentioned something about them being ex-yugo soldiers. I wasn't surprised, as these losers all had some kinda, NATO-kicked-our-butts expression. I turned to them and said that, I was a wizard and if they didn't leave me and natasha(the girl's name) alone, I would cast my black magic on them. To show my prowess, I even did a cool card trick (PM if you wanna learn the trick). It was clear that those losers were crapping their pants and they all agreed that they would leave us alone if I promised them that I wouldn't use my powers to hurt the serbian people. Silly beggars, the serbs were in a sh*ty condition without my magical powers anyways so why would I bother? Long story short, natasha and I; left for my hotel, where I seduced her using my superior intellect and intelligence. We talked about the greatness of the greek culture, how epic the ancient greek literature was, the greek toponyms of the ancient americas etc. if it wasn't for natasha, my fall trip to ex-yu would have been my "fail" trip to ex-yu.
PS: Don't worry, for I am not a mean player... I didn't just left natasha to rot in serbia, I took her back home with me and now she is living with me, cleaning the house and doing the laundry etc.
I don't speak serbian(thanks god) so I couldn't communicate with anyone... The flight was crappy. The serbian authorities caused a delay for about 12 hours. When we landed, I said to myself, "Derk, you are f**ked up..." and I didn't prove myself wrong I should say. The baggage claim was a disaster. Serbian airport was as dirty as it was during Milosevic I's reign. When I left the airport, I saw a hot piece of serbian chick(!). So using my fluent serbian, we chatted for an hour, shared a few drink etc. (the rest is history). So after my usual job of pleasure-giving, I decided to take a small sight-seeing and historical-place-visiting. Only if I had known that all the cool places were destroyed during the NATO bombings... The weather was above average, it mostly rained and produced a gloomy setting. Good weather to pick-up chicks... So I finally met my old college friend, and we went to a bar in Belgrade. Needless to say it was low-quality and cheap but he assured me all the bars were the same. We drank ouzo, laughed etc. I had a feeling that this vacation was going to be a waste of valuable time until I saw her... She was some hot, really, really drunk slu.tty chick. However, she had a bunch of dudes around her. Using my expertise in the field of seduction, I walked up to her table and started using my charm on her. It was apparent that the losers were unhappy about my presence and they started talking loudly in their on language, which I understood nothing. While these were happening I was showing the girl some cool magic tricks that were blowing her mind off. My friend suddenly came to my side and told me that if we didn't leave the bar right now, those 6 losers would attack us. He also mentioned something about them being ex-yugo soldiers. I wasn't surprised, as these losers all had some kinda, NATO-kicked-our-butts expression. I turned to them and said that, I was a wizard and if they didn't leave me and natasha(the girl's name) alone, I would cast my black magic on them. To show my prowess, I even did a cool card trick (PM if you wanna learn the trick). It was clear that those losers were crapping their pants and they all agreed that they would leave us alone if I promised them that I wouldn't use my powers to hurt the serbian people. Silly beggars, the serbs were in a sh*ty condition without my magical powers anyways so why would I bother? Long story short, natasha and I; left for my hotel, where I seduced her using my superior intellect and intelligence. We talked about the greatness of the greek culture, how epic the ancient greek literature was, the greek toponyms of the ancient americas etc. if it wasn't for natasha, my fall trip to ex-yu would have been my "fail" trip to ex-yu.
PS: Don't worry, for I am not a mean player... I didn't just left natasha to rot in serbia, I took her back home with me and now she is living with me, cleaning the house and doing the laundry etc.